Today I had someone tell me, "When I die, I want to come back as you." I laughed and responded with, "This isn't courage; it is stupidity."
This theme of fear versus opportunity came up in several conversations for me today.
We ended up talking about how courage and the confidence of looking at something fearful can also be seen as an opportunity. I fully agree. I think I look at a lot of situations that scare me and think how that fear is hurting me.
For example, I'm shit-scared of airports. Has nothing to do with the crowds or actually flying, but I just very much dislike airports. But I REFUSE to let that stop me from seeing all the places in the world that inspire me. How can I let it? How could I possibly let one irrational fear hold me back from exploring my dreams?
Granted, the people that travel with me are well aware of this fear and, while probably really annoyed, have always helped me. Gradually, I feel I'm getting better with airports, but since I don't fly much more than maybe once a year, it is hard to practice this growing confidence because I feel like I'm starting over every time I take another trip. ANYWAY.
Unlike I said, it isn't stupidity either. I think sometimes it can be, but mostly, it is courage and confidence to overstep your fears. Just because I jumped off a platform and had to stare 90ft down into a ravine, doesn't mean I wasn't scared.
Today, I also heard a lot people say, "Oh, of course she'll do it, she's used to this!"
Thrill-seekers may come across as fearless, but that isn't always the case. Maybe it is them feeling empowered by their opportunity to push past their fears?
But it is all about the opportunity... right?
So, what about when you don't "take the plunge" or do something else that makes you uneasy? Does that make you a coward?
The answer is NO! I also feel that knowing you own personal limits is a strength and a voice of confidence. It shows that you are comfortable with yourself and you are aware of your own capabilities.
Empower.
Jump.
Be Confident.
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Friday, July 24, 2009
Plain Ridiculous
This week has been fairly fun for me. I've been doing a lot of "shadowing" for my job, but mostly hang around and talk to people. Keeps me busy when there isn't really much of anything I can actually do.
One of my ventures in shadowing took me along with one of the outreach staff to a college class to just speak with them on what resources are available through the county and such. I'm guessing it had something to do with the fact that when I was in college, EVERY semester, someone like this co-worker would come to ALL of my classes and give talks, but I was kinda dumbfounded that no one had ever even heard of any of the resources she was presenting. Kinda surprising, but inspiring too because we want to share info to everyone.
I suppose I should say here that this blog is about to get really opinionated. If you aren't in the mood to continue, don't.
The topic of this particular presentation was on stereotypes and their relationship to violence. One of the big points that we hope people come away with is that it is never the victim's fault. It is not something they ask for, it is not something they want, and it is not okay. SO, as my co-worker is giving this presentation, we came to the question that many people need to hear debunked:
Does the clothing the victim is wearing matter?
I want to throw it out there that the answer is wholeheartedly NO.
I have to admit that I was offended and appalled that the TEACHER of this said class kept saying it does. Her point [which is true] is that society teaches us appropriate attire for our surroundings. I agree. We learn what to wear to interviews, we learn what to wear in the workplace, we learn what to wear to a football game, and yes, we learn what to wear to a bar. BUT, here's the kicker. Did anything you were wearing have printed on it, "RAPE ME"?
Her point was that when girls skank out and get all fluffed up for the bar get assaulted, they asked for it.
Nope. If girls go out looking for a one night stand, cool. Congratulations, you just did something that I can't say I'd ever do. BUT, then that is consensual. They chose to bring that creeper from the bar home and show them their front door, which is the difference between an awkward morning walk of shame and an assault.
Statistics show that the majority of assaults happen outside of that environment and that it is NOT about the clothes you wear. And to assume that it was all about the clothes, how can you explain that off to the significant majority of victims that were in their own homes? And WHY in your right mind would you ever blame a victim like that? How could you ever explain that away? It isn't like the police ask you how short your skirt was when they come to help; they ask for any clothing available for evidence.
So if I wasn't frustrated enough at this teacher, she blew my mind at the next question. My co-worker decided that she's change the scenario.
Imagine that you are at home, it is getting late and you're getting tired. You doze off on the couch watching tv and at some random hour you wake up and go to bed. But crap, in your sleepy haze, you didn't even realize that the front door was still unlocked. In the middle of the night, someone breaks into your home through your unlocked door and rapes you. Who's at fault?
The teacher had the GUTS to shrug and say, "Well...... you did leave the door unlocked."
Bitch. I was pissed off. Just because you left the door unlocked, DOES NOT give anyone the RIGHT to enter your home without permission. It also DOES NOT give them the right to assault you.
Grrr... I could have punched her. LOL.
One of my ventures in shadowing took me along with one of the outreach staff to a college class to just speak with them on what resources are available through the county and such. I'm guessing it had something to do with the fact that when I was in college, EVERY semester, someone like this co-worker would come to ALL of my classes and give talks, but I was kinda dumbfounded that no one had ever even heard of any of the resources she was presenting. Kinda surprising, but inspiring too because we want to share info to everyone.
I suppose I should say here that this blog is about to get really opinionated. If you aren't in the mood to continue, don't.
The topic of this particular presentation was on stereotypes and their relationship to violence. One of the big points that we hope people come away with is that it is never the victim's fault. It is not something they ask for, it is not something they want, and it is not okay. SO, as my co-worker is giving this presentation, we came to the question that many people need to hear debunked:
Does the clothing the victim is wearing matter?
I want to throw it out there that the answer is wholeheartedly NO.
I have to admit that I was offended and appalled that the TEACHER of this said class kept saying it does. Her point [which is true] is that society teaches us appropriate attire for our surroundings. I agree. We learn what to wear to interviews, we learn what to wear in the workplace, we learn what to wear to a football game, and yes, we learn what to wear to a bar. BUT, here's the kicker. Did anything you were wearing have printed on it, "RAPE ME"?
Her point was that when girls skank out and get all fluffed up for the bar get assaulted, they asked for it.
Nope. If girls go out looking for a one night stand, cool. Congratulations, you just did something that I can't say I'd ever do. BUT, then that is consensual. They chose to bring that creeper from the bar home and show them their front door, which is the difference between an awkward morning walk of shame and an assault.
Statistics show that the majority of assaults happen outside of that environment and that it is NOT about the clothes you wear. And to assume that it was all about the clothes, how can you explain that off to the significant majority of victims that were in their own homes? And WHY in your right mind would you ever blame a victim like that? How could you ever explain that away? It isn't like the police ask you how short your skirt was when they come to help; they ask for any clothing available for evidence.
So if I wasn't frustrated enough at this teacher, she blew my mind at the next question. My co-worker decided that she's change the scenario.
Imagine that you are at home, it is getting late and you're getting tired. You doze off on the couch watching tv and at some random hour you wake up and go to bed. But crap, in your sleepy haze, you didn't even realize that the front door was still unlocked. In the middle of the night, someone breaks into your home through your unlocked door and rapes you. Who's at fault?
The teacher had the GUTS to shrug and say, "Well...... you did leave the door unlocked."
Bitch. I was pissed off. Just because you left the door unlocked, DOES NOT give anyone the RIGHT to enter your home without permission. It also DOES NOT give them the right to assault you.
Grrr... I could have punched her. LOL.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
It's About Time.
Jeez. Where have I been lately?! What is wrong with me?! Apparently, I'm a complete slacker and haven't been online. LOL.
That's entirely a lie.
But I have been really busy and working on the MANY changes this summer brought with it. In the last week:
Love and I got our MARRIAGE LICENSE!!
Finalized LOTS of wedding details!!
Picked up my WEDDING DRESS!!
I started my brand new JOB!! [in my new office! with green walls! and my own desk! and computer!]
The only downside, is apparently I haven't completely adjusted to the switch of days over nights... and I am AWAKE at 4am most mornings. Suck.
That's entirely a lie.
But I have been really busy and working on the MANY changes this summer brought with it. In the last week:
Love and I got our MARRIAGE LICENSE!!
Finalized LOTS of wedding details!!
Picked up my WEDDING DRESS!!
I started my brand new JOB!! [in my new office! with green walls! and my own desk! and computer!]
The only downside, is apparently I haven't completely adjusted to the switch of days over nights... and I am AWAKE at 4am most mornings. Suck.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
WHooo Hoooo!!
So, I'm pretty convinced I've had the best week ever. The bonus is that it isn't even over yet!
Just this past weekend, I switched to the overnight shift at work. This was for several reasons.
The first being that my Love is switching to overnights soon at his job. I figured that as much as I don't completely love overnights, I'd be willing to do it for the fact that I'd get to spend more time with him.
Second, for my own sanity. That place can drive the most patient person up the wall in less than an hour, and I really didn't want to say that I got burnt out by a job. I don't ever want to say "I have to give up". It's just not my style.
And my third reason had a little bit to do with the management. It really SUCKS when you know that a bunch of people are mad at you because you made them stick to the rules. Go ahead and be mad, but when the legal issues start to pile up, don't say I didn't warn you.
So yeah. I ended up switching and I love it! I have lots of quiet space and although it is mainly cleaning, I really don't mind it. And the supervisor is rockin', so that's a good deal.
BUT.
Yesterday I was offered the job. This is the dream job that I applied for, while lacking a touch of confidence that I could do it. I mean, I wanted so bad to get it, but compared to many of the other applicants that I thought had applied, I was pretty convinced that they had way more experience and education than I had. I guess I thought I was pretty low on the totem pole. BUT I GOT THE JOB!
And so I felt incredibly guilty telling my awesome new supervisor that while I just got on his shift, I'm gonna duck out and leave him hanging. Suck. But being the great guy that he is, he gratefully accepted my resignation and said that he's proud of me because he's seen me work and feels that I've definitely gone into the right career field. That was a blessing to hear, and I'm grateful for all the help and guidance he's given me. He's a rockstar boss.
Whew. Good times.
Just this past weekend, I switched to the overnight shift at work. This was for several reasons.
The first being that my Love is switching to overnights soon at his job. I figured that as much as I don't completely love overnights, I'd be willing to do it for the fact that I'd get to spend more time with him.
Second, for my own sanity. That place can drive the most patient person up the wall in less than an hour, and I really didn't want to say that I got burnt out by a job. I don't ever want to say "I have to give up". It's just not my style.
And my third reason had a little bit to do with the management. It really SUCKS when you know that a bunch of people are mad at you because you made them stick to the rules. Go ahead and be mad, but when the legal issues start to pile up, don't say I didn't warn you.
So yeah. I ended up switching and I love it! I have lots of quiet space and although it is mainly cleaning, I really don't mind it. And the supervisor is rockin', so that's a good deal.
BUT.
Yesterday I was offered the job. This is the dream job that I applied for, while lacking a touch of confidence that I could do it. I mean, I wanted so bad to get it, but compared to many of the other applicants that I thought had applied, I was pretty convinced that they had way more experience and education than I had. I guess I thought I was pretty low on the totem pole. BUT I GOT THE JOB!
And so I felt incredibly guilty telling my awesome new supervisor that while I just got on his shift, I'm gonna duck out and leave him hanging. Suck. But being the great guy that he is, he gratefully accepted my resignation and said that he's proud of me because he's seen me work and feels that I've definitely gone into the right career field. That was a blessing to hear, and I'm grateful for all the help and guidance he's given me. He's a rockstar boss.
Whew. Good times.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Hiatus
I kinda feel guilty about not writing lately. I look at this page everyday when I turn on my computer because it comes up right along with msn.com and facebook, but I never actually have much to say it seems.
But that isn't the entire truth. I've always got something to say because everyday has something to it that I'm focused on.
A few weeks ago, someone emailed me a posting for a job opening on the ULTIMATE perfect job for me. I was so excited about it I pretty much immediately sent in my resume. The posting was for a job that I'd love to do, but while I was researching for my interview, I discovered that they also have a position that is my dream job! It is the exact position that I had in mind as I was finishing college and preparing for the "real world". So during my interview, I asked about it and they were really excited to interview me for both positions. But now it is the waiting game....
Then after that bout of shakiness and nerves ended, I had to focus on getting wedding invites in the mail. Consider them (or 98% of them) signed, sealed, and delivered. It feels great to get those done. It also makes everything seem so much more real. I think that's because we haven't been focusing on wedding stuff lately.
BUT it is officially less than two months until Love and I are married! :D How exciting is that?!
I'm also floating on cloud 9 because a few weeks ago, I was asked to photograph an event for some friends. While it took me awhile to get the shots I wanted, I'm TOTALLY stoked at how the whole event went. And now my photos are on a public website and are being used for promotional purposes for the next event they are having in August. No worries. I'll have plenty of time to photograph that event because it sits comfortably between my wedding and honeymoon. Haha...
And now for a quick comment on work. It's rough. I frequently get hit, bit, kicked, spit on, and yelled at, but for some reason I have no intentions of leaving just yet. Haha.... Well... I guess that depends on how that interview went....
Until next time.... Ciao!
But that isn't the entire truth. I've always got something to say because everyday has something to it that I'm focused on.
A few weeks ago, someone emailed me a posting for a job opening on the ULTIMATE perfect job for me. I was so excited about it I pretty much immediately sent in my resume. The posting was for a job that I'd love to do, but while I was researching for my interview, I discovered that they also have a position that is my dream job! It is the exact position that I had in mind as I was finishing college and preparing for the "real world". So during my interview, I asked about it and they were really excited to interview me for both positions. But now it is the waiting game....
Then after that bout of shakiness and nerves ended, I had to focus on getting wedding invites in the mail. Consider them (or 98% of them) signed, sealed, and delivered. It feels great to get those done. It also makes everything seem so much more real. I think that's because we haven't been focusing on wedding stuff lately.
BUT it is officially less than two months until Love and I are married! :D How exciting is that?!
I'm also floating on cloud 9 because a few weeks ago, I was asked to photograph an event for some friends. While it took me awhile to get the shots I wanted, I'm TOTALLY stoked at how the whole event went. And now my photos are on a public website and are being used for promotional purposes for the next event they are having in August. No worries. I'll have plenty of time to photograph that event because it sits comfortably between my wedding and honeymoon. Haha...
And now for a quick comment on work. It's rough. I frequently get hit, bit, kicked, spit on, and yelled at, but for some reason I have no intentions of leaving just yet. Haha.... Well... I guess that depends on how that interview went....
Until next time.... Ciao!
Sunday, May 24, 2009
Hmm... Con't?
"I hope I never become so used to the world that it no longer seems wonderful." - Ashleigh Brilliant
Not long after I wrote my last entry, I recieved a card with this quote on it. Seemingly perfect and a good combination.
I've been having some of those random, unexplained moments in time that make me worry, stressed, and a complete hazard to be around. I know that a lot of it is stress at work and while I was pretty confident that I'd figured out what I needed to do about that, I realized today that it might not have worked to my advantage.
I started realizing that in my poor attitude, I was really starting to drag not only myself down, but those around me that I love and care about. That's a bad sign.
I was able to speak to my supervisor, and while I'm not happy about a lot of other events at work, I was able to switch to a much smaller work-load. Hopefully, this will give me the opportunity to take care of the last of the wedding planning and all the housework I've been neglecting.
As for the inspirational quote at the beginning?
I was given that card just as I was realizing that I was losing sight of all the wonderful things in this world. It really is easy to be so used to something, that you forget the magnitude of it. While the world as a whole is hard to lose, all the little pieces of it that are a part of our lives can get lost in the everyday grind that wears us down. By merely trudging through life, we manage to forget all the wonderful things.
I never want to forget those. :)
Not long after I wrote my last entry, I recieved a card with this quote on it. Seemingly perfect and a good combination.
I've been having some of those random, unexplained moments in time that make me worry, stressed, and a complete hazard to be around. I know that a lot of it is stress at work and while I was pretty confident that I'd figured out what I needed to do about that, I realized today that it might not have worked to my advantage.
I started realizing that in my poor attitude, I was really starting to drag not only myself down, but those around me that I love and care about. That's a bad sign.
I was able to speak to my supervisor, and while I'm not happy about a lot of other events at work, I was able to switch to a much smaller work-load. Hopefully, this will give me the opportunity to take care of the last of the wedding planning and all the housework I've been neglecting.
As for the inspirational quote at the beginning?
I was given that card just as I was realizing that I was losing sight of all the wonderful things in this world. It really is easy to be so used to something, that you forget the magnitude of it. While the world as a whole is hard to lose, all the little pieces of it that are a part of our lives can get lost in the everyday grind that wears us down. By merely trudging through life, we manage to forget all the wonderful things.
I never want to forget those. :)
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Hmm..
"If the wonder is gone when the truth is known, then there never really was any wonder."
I like this quote. I think it brings a little bit of reality to a lot of things. If most of the things we wonder about, hold interest with, and are curious about lose their impressive magnitude as soon as we know the details of what is going on, then it wasn't worth the curiosity, was it?
I guess it also shows that the things that are truly wonderful will never lose their wonder; no matter what happens.
And I like thinking that. There are so many things that ARE truly wonderful and I'm proud to say I've got plenty in my life already. :D
I like thinking like that.
I like this quote. I think it brings a little bit of reality to a lot of things. If most of the things we wonder about, hold interest with, and are curious about lose their impressive magnitude as soon as we know the details of what is going on, then it wasn't worth the curiosity, was it?
I guess it also shows that the things that are truly wonderful will never lose their wonder; no matter what happens.
And I like thinking that. There are so many things that ARE truly wonderful and I'm proud to say I've got plenty in my life already. :D
I like thinking like that.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Stress Is Overrated
I love hanging out with my family. They make me happy and I miss seeing them everyday. It was very good this weekend to see them, hang out, and just be in the same place as they were even if it was just for a few hours.
That's about it.
I spent a great weekend with my family and I miss them. Almost a little homesick.
That's about it.
I spent a great weekend with my family and I miss them. Almost a little homesick.
Friday, May 8, 2009
Yay!
Updates:
In less than 100 days, I'll be married to the love of my life. YAY!
I went grocery shopping about an hour ago to get food and snack for the family that is coming to visit tonight. I haven't seen them in over a month, so yes, I'm totally excited.
When I got home from grocery shopping there was a lovely brown box at the door with my name on it. And what was in it you might ask? Absolutely all of the paper for the wedding invites, RSVP cards, programs, etc. I felt like I had ordered a TON of paper, but in all reality, it fit into a fairly small box. Wonderfully packaged, too. I have to mention here that I was also really excited when I purchased it that I got such a rockin' discount on it. Shipping was steep because it's heavy cardstock, but the grand total was under $100.
I also got my wedding shoes a couple days ago. It is about time for me to start getting really antsy and excited!
I got the weekend off. By a freak chance of events, I didn't get called in to work tonight, I got tomorrow night off (but could still get called in), and got Sunday off too. I'm sure some people might not be entirely happy with me for it, but with family in town, and the fact that I haven't had a solid day off since I started, I took the chance.
It's been super rainy it seems like. Which is okay with me as long as I get to watch the lightening with my Love. Thunderstorms hold a special place in both of our hearts.
My bruises from work are almost all gone. A big, roaring kudos goes out to my chiropractor for introducing me to this new fandangled invention that will wisk away a deep bruise in a mere couple days. I need to buy it in bulk. Haha.
I keep thinking of things from work that are HILARIOUS to put up here, but they really only makes sense if you A) knew my co-workers, and B) knew my clients. Oh, well.
On a not so happy side of life, I toss some hope and prayers to my Love's family. It seems that a wave of serious love and support is needed for them to overcome the illnesses that have floated their way. I love you guys and anything you need, I'm here.
I think that is about it for now. All I have left to do is sit and wait for family to come!
In less than 100 days, I'll be married to the love of my life. YAY!
I went grocery shopping about an hour ago to get food and snack for the family that is coming to visit tonight. I haven't seen them in over a month, so yes, I'm totally excited.
When I got home from grocery shopping there was a lovely brown box at the door with my name on it. And what was in it you might ask? Absolutely all of the paper for the wedding invites, RSVP cards, programs, etc. I felt like I had ordered a TON of paper, but in all reality, it fit into a fairly small box. Wonderfully packaged, too. I have to mention here that I was also really excited when I purchased it that I got such a rockin' discount on it. Shipping was steep because it's heavy cardstock, but the grand total was under $100.
I also got my wedding shoes a couple days ago. It is about time for me to start getting really antsy and excited!
I got the weekend off. By a freak chance of events, I didn't get called in to work tonight, I got tomorrow night off (but could still get called in), and got Sunday off too. I'm sure some people might not be entirely happy with me for it, but with family in town, and the fact that I haven't had a solid day off since I started, I took the chance.
It's been super rainy it seems like. Which is okay with me as long as I get to watch the lightening with my Love. Thunderstorms hold a special place in both of our hearts.
My bruises from work are almost all gone. A big, roaring kudos goes out to my chiropractor for introducing me to this new fandangled invention that will wisk away a deep bruise in a mere couple days. I need to buy it in bulk. Haha.
I keep thinking of things from work that are HILARIOUS to put up here, but they really only makes sense if you A) knew my co-workers, and B) knew my clients. Oh, well.
On a not so happy side of life, I toss some hope and prayers to my Love's family. It seems that a wave of serious love and support is needed for them to overcome the illnesses that have floated their way. I love you guys and anything you need, I'm here.
I think that is about it for now. All I have left to do is sit and wait for family to come!
Saturday, May 2, 2009
Oops?
Ok, so my apologies for the gap in blogging. Funny thing is, I keep up with most everyone else's, but not my own.
Things have been pretty hectic in my world lately.
I'm really trying hard to get hours at work without reaching total burnout. Burnout is WAY too easy at my job. It's stressful and rough. But for every night that is absolutely terrible, I feel ever so slightly more inclined to stick around. I'm determined to not be one of those people that can't take the heat after only a month. Then again, I really do have to make sure I don't take it overboard. I've had to be there a lot lately because of trainings and the like, but the only day I didn't go in since I started was the day I called in sick with one of the worst migraines on the face of the Earth.
Migraines can eat my shorts. I don't like you, so go away.
Updates on everything else?
I haven't taken many photos lately; some, but not many. That is why I haven't done the Friday Photos like I should be. I promise, there will be some soon, and plenty to make up for all of April that I missed.
The wedding is in just about 100 days! How ridiculous is that? This weekend, the Love is stayin with family because he had to be at Drill this weekend. I've really come to believe that he is THE BEST support system I could ever dream of. Through all the difficult transitions to work, he has totally been there. Complete with ice cream! What a doll!! I know that I've also been totally stressed out and he always calms me down, holds my hand, and hugs me til I'm back on Earth. I can't say how much he truly means to me. As silly as it sounds, I'm almost near tears since he's not here this weekend. I've really grown comfortable to him being here.
But as for wedding related things... I've purchased shoes I think I'll like. Luckily, if I don't like them with THE DRESS like I thought I would, I can take them back and get the second option. I'm just happy I've found a few different options. I also ordered the paper for all the invites. Which means.... I'm going to be asking for lots of help in about a week. Be prepared for a phone call. Fair warning.
What I really NEED to do, is call the seamstress that is making the bridesmaid dresses. I have to get on that pretty quick actually. Monday, maybe? But everything seems to be falling pretty well into place. Yay for that!
We've also got our honeymoon all picked out. I can't say that it is all set up yet, but we've got a resort in Costa Rica that we'll be going to right after the wedding festivities. :-D
I'm just hoping that I'll be able to take time off before the wedding, not only to relax, but to heal all the bruises I seem to constantly be getting. Silly. Just plain silly.
That's it for now... and remember kids, enjoy the sunny weather!
Things have been pretty hectic in my world lately.
I'm really trying hard to get hours at work without reaching total burnout. Burnout is WAY too easy at my job. It's stressful and rough. But for every night that is absolutely terrible, I feel ever so slightly more inclined to stick around. I'm determined to not be one of those people that can't take the heat after only a month. Then again, I really do have to make sure I don't take it overboard. I've had to be there a lot lately because of trainings and the like, but the only day I didn't go in since I started was the day I called in sick with one of the worst migraines on the face of the Earth.
Migraines can eat my shorts. I don't like you, so go away.
Updates on everything else?
I haven't taken many photos lately; some, but not many. That is why I haven't done the Friday Photos like I should be. I promise, there will be some soon, and plenty to make up for all of April that I missed.
The wedding is in just about 100 days! How ridiculous is that? This weekend, the Love is stayin with family because he had to be at Drill this weekend. I've really come to believe that he is THE BEST support system I could ever dream of. Through all the difficult transitions to work, he has totally been there. Complete with ice cream! What a doll!! I know that I've also been totally stressed out and he always calms me down, holds my hand, and hugs me til I'm back on Earth. I can't say how much he truly means to me. As silly as it sounds, I'm almost near tears since he's not here this weekend. I've really grown comfortable to him being here.
But as for wedding related things... I've purchased shoes I think I'll like. Luckily, if I don't like them with THE DRESS like I thought I would, I can take them back and get the second option. I'm just happy I've found a few different options. I also ordered the paper for all the invites. Which means.... I'm going to be asking for lots of help in about a week. Be prepared for a phone call. Fair warning.
What I really NEED to do, is call the seamstress that is making the bridesmaid dresses. I have to get on that pretty quick actually. Monday, maybe? But everything seems to be falling pretty well into place. Yay for that!
We've also got our honeymoon all picked out. I can't say that it is all set up yet, but we've got a resort in Costa Rica that we'll be going to right after the wedding festivities. :-D
I'm just hoping that I'll be able to take time off before the wedding, not only to relax, but to heal all the bruises I seem to constantly be getting. Silly. Just plain silly.
That's it for now... and remember kids, enjoy the sunny weather!
Friday, April 17, 2009
Irony
So this is a conversation while out on the playground at work:
Kiddo: (bounces up to me and other staff) It smells like something is burning!!
(Everyone sniffs the air)
Staff 1: Yeah, it does.
Kiddo: It smells like burning tomato soup!
Me: Tomato soup?
Kiddo: Yeah! I love tomato soup. Except when it is burning. And then it NOT my favorite at all. But unburnt tomato soup is my favorite.
Staff 1: I think it smells like burnt toast.
Kiddo: Hahaha! It is NOT burnt toast! Silly. Why would it smell like burnt toast outside?!
Staff 1: Hmm. I guess I don't know.
(Kiddo bounces away)
Me: And it is more likely that it smells like burnt tomato soup than burnt toast...? I would have just said that someone was grilling.
For some reason, this was so funny to the kiddo. Why in the world would it smell like burnt toast outside....? You never eat toast outside.... LOL! We got a good laugh out of this. Thought I'd share.
Kiddo: (bounces up to me and other staff) It smells like something is burning!!
(Everyone sniffs the air)
Staff 1: Yeah, it does.
Kiddo: It smells like burning tomato soup!
Me: Tomato soup?
Kiddo: Yeah! I love tomato soup. Except when it is burning. And then it NOT my favorite at all. But unburnt tomato soup is my favorite.
Staff 1: I think it smells like burnt toast.
Kiddo: Hahaha! It is NOT burnt toast! Silly. Why would it smell like burnt toast outside?!
Staff 1: Hmm. I guess I don't know.
(Kiddo bounces away)
Me: And it is more likely that it smells like burnt tomato soup than burnt toast...? I would have just said that someone was grilling.
For some reason, this was so funny to the kiddo. Why in the world would it smell like burnt toast outside....? You never eat toast outside.... LOL! We got a good laugh out of this. Thought I'd share.
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Not Forgotten
I've been a slacker. My bad.
But I have a really good excuse this time. I was working. At a real job.
Things have been slightly chaotic this last week or so. I'm really trying to settle into a nice routine, but I think it is just going to take a little time. I've put in a full week at my job and I still don't know what to say about it. It's different than I expected, but at the same time, I expected that it would be different than anything I could imagine. So, maybe I'm right where I should be.
I took some time tonight (my evening off) and went in to work on some trainings that I was supposed to have completed last week, but didn't have access to. As I went in, I just stopped by the community to ask a few questions, and the place was silent. I was totally impressed. Then a few random people asked me for hugs, which kind of surprised me. Should I be looking for a "kick me" sign on my back now? Maybe there was just a good night, which makes me proud of them. Two thumbs up!
And yes, I know I didn't do my Friday Photo. I'll make it up this week hopefully. Right now, though, it's time for bed. Another early morning!
But I have a really good excuse this time. I was working. At a real job.
Things have been slightly chaotic this last week or so. I'm really trying to settle into a nice routine, but I think it is just going to take a little time. I've put in a full week at my job and I still don't know what to say about it. It's different than I expected, but at the same time, I expected that it would be different than anything I could imagine. So, maybe I'm right where I should be.
I took some time tonight (my evening off) and went in to work on some trainings that I was supposed to have completed last week, but didn't have access to. As I went in, I just stopped by the community to ask a few questions, and the place was silent. I was totally impressed. Then a few random people asked me for hugs, which kind of surprised me. Should I be looking for a "kick me" sign on my back now? Maybe there was just a good night, which makes me proud of them. Two thumbs up!
And yes, I know I didn't do my Friday Photo. I'll make it up this week hopefully. Right now, though, it's time for bed. Another early morning!
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Sad Face
I will never look at a teddy bear the same again.
I'm mending abused bear #2 tonight. Sad face.
I'm mending abused bear #2 tonight. Sad face.
The Human Wall
I have a new job. Or occupation, depending on how you look at it. I'd like to think this is going to be more that just a "job". And I would like to challenge anyone who thinks they have a stressful job. I knew going into this, that it wasn't going to be a easy venture. I knew that for all the crap I've seen in my life, it wouldn't even begin to compare to the situations these others have been in.
Boy, was I right. I'm constantly amazed; at the history, the effect, the progress and the hope.
Sometimes it is hard to see the "big picture" of our own lives because we are constantly stuck in the problems we have at the moment. We have hopes and dreams, but they get covered by what we feel is reality at the time and it is hard to imagine the possibilities that are out there for us and the changes we are capable of.
The other part of this is that I'm proud for those people that are making the effort to seriously correct the negatives in their own lives. Kudos. You inpire me.
So, I guess my new goal isn't just to be along for the ride and let people recognize that dreams are possible, but to inspire the success in effort and pride in adversity.
Oh, and my attempt at being a human wall did not impress anyone.
Boy, was I right. I'm constantly amazed; at the history, the effect, the progress and the hope.
Sometimes it is hard to see the "big picture" of our own lives because we are constantly stuck in the problems we have at the moment. We have hopes and dreams, but they get covered by what we feel is reality at the time and it is hard to imagine the possibilities that are out there for us and the changes we are capable of.
The other part of this is that I'm proud for those people that are making the effort to seriously correct the negatives in their own lives. Kudos. You inpire me.
So, I guess my new goal isn't just to be along for the ride and let people recognize that dreams are possible, but to inspire the success in effort and pride in adversity.
Oh, and my attempt at being a human wall did not impress anyone.
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Not To Brag....
I have been craving a really good French Silk pie ever since that post about the pie fiasco. I just really, really wanted one. So today, as I was planning dinner for the family, I decided to make one. And HOLY CRAP! That was by far, the best pie I've ever made!
Yay!
Yay!
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Saturday's Friday Photo
I failed. I was too busy doing nothing to do my Friday photo. Sorry. This is a picture taken in my driveway in Wisconsin. The moon and Venus. Enjoy!
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Whoa Baby!
LOVE COMES HOME TONIGHT!!
Ok, I just had to let that out. Thanks.
In the spirit of wedding planning, I have attempted in being overly crafty. I'm not sure that this endeavor will be successful, but it's growing on me. For the most part, I think that a lot of the big details for the wedding are set. WHICH TOTALLY EXCITES ME! And while I'm feeling on a roll, I'm happy that I'm actually getting somewhere.
So here's the lists of my projects:
Photography
Quilting (especially baby quilts, for some reason)
Scrapbooking
Paper Flowers
Beaded Flowers
Decorating (oh yeah!)
Wedding Decorations
I'm really excited about quilting. I found this really ADORABLE ducky fabric and have made a quilt using it. I also found some pink paisley that I just love and need to put that one together.
So if there are any questions out there on these topics, feel free to ask. I may not be an expert, but I will be happy to give ideas!
Ok, I just had to let that out. Thanks.
In the spirit of wedding planning, I have attempted in being overly crafty. I'm not sure that this endeavor will be successful, but it's growing on me. For the most part, I think that a lot of the big details for the wedding are set. WHICH TOTALLY EXCITES ME! And while I'm feeling on a roll, I'm happy that I'm actually getting somewhere.
So here's the lists of my projects:
Photography
Quilting (especially baby quilts, for some reason)
Scrapbooking
Paper Flowers
Beaded Flowers
Decorating (oh yeah!)
Wedding Decorations
I'm really excited about quilting. I found this really ADORABLE ducky fabric and have made a quilt using it. I also found some pink paisley that I just love and need to put that one together.
So if there are any questions out there on these topics, feel free to ask. I may not be an expert, but I will be happy to give ideas!
Monday, March 23, 2009
Friday, March 20, 2009
Photo Friday
This picture also goes back to the trip to Colorado last September. Part of the destination was going to the Great Sand Dunes National Park, and wow... I love that place. I went to the Dunes when I was really little with my family and I remember it being this desert place with this awesome river. Well, in September, the river isn't there. There isn't enough water in the desert to feed it all summer. The tree is actually growing where the river would normally flow in the spring.
It is images like this that really make me want to travel more. As I was trying to pick a photo to put up today, I ended up looking at lots of different photos. Recent ones, like the ones I took this last week at the Botanical Center in Des Moines, or ones from years ago in Israel. I was trying to think of a theme, but I came to this one. Travel to me is a necessity. I fully believe in seeing the world and all it has to offer its inhabitants. I fully believe in seeing not only the natural wonders of the world, but seeing all the works of art that the people on it have provided its surface. I very much want to see everything I can see and do everything I can.
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Oh, The Places You'll Go
I've discovered that there are a lot of projects I can work on. But none of them actually interest me.
Or maybe I should rephrase that. I don't want to do them alone.
I've spent the last few days with my MIL (future). I had only thought I'd stay for a day, but I ended up spending two nights. You know that warm, comfy feeling where you are content and just don't wanna move? That's what I had.
Thanks for letting me stay!
Or maybe I should rephrase that. I don't want to do them alone.
I've spent the last few days with my MIL (future). I had only thought I'd stay for a day, but I ended up spending two nights. You know that warm, comfy feeling where you are content and just don't wanna move? That's what I had.
Thanks for letting me stay!
Monday, March 16, 2009
Pity Party
I got the job I interviewed for. I walked in, the guy said I had the job, we talked, I filled out a quick questionnaire, said yes to the job, and walked out.
The pity party starts now. No need to RSVP, this is a party of one.
By getting the job, I had to kiss my vacation/time alone with my Love good-bye. He goes to Texas where there is warm weather and sunshine (I know, I know, he's also got classes to attend) and I'm stuck in my living room in an empty house. Except for the bird.
I've been trying to fill out the paperwork for this job, but one of the things I have to do is get a Chauffer's license so that I can drive the kids around. Problem: I still have only my WI driver's license. Meaning, in order to actually get this job, I have to get an Iowa license. Now, this wouldn't normally be a big deal, but I've got NOTHING that says I'd be a resident. I'm not on the utility bills, I don't get paper statements from my bank, we didn't actually sign a lease, I don't have kids to enroll in school and use the enrollment papers as proof... So, aside from the fact that I don't have a way to PROVE I moved to Iowa, I also don't have proof I've lived here for 30 days or more.
So how's this for frustrating circular reasoning? One way I can get an Iowa license is if I prove I've got a permanent job. Easy right? I'm doing this FOR the job. WRONG! I can't sign the papers that say I've got a job until I can get an Iowa license. Grrr.
So last night as I was pouting my face off wallowing in my loneliness, I figured I'd buy myself a pie. That's right. You read that correctly. A WHOLE damn pie. I thought I was going to indulge in it, bathe in it, and stuff my face with silky, chocolatey, velvety French Silk pie all night long. I grabbed my fork. Not just any fork, but one of those really sturdy ones. You know, one of those hefty forks built for devouring a whole pie? One of those. I tore open the package and unearthed my pie. I jabbed my big old fork into it and took a HUGE bite of chocolate and whipped cream.
And I could have cried. The pie tasted like crap. Not like a stale, past the expiration date crap, but more of a too-processed-to-taste-enjoyable crap.
Then to remedy the pie fiasco from last night, I worked really hard this morning to figure out ways to sweet talk the DMV attendant. I put everything that could possibly help me in a folder and hopped in the car, drove to the OPPOSITE side of town, only to to find out that the DMV isn't open on Mondays. Grrr.
I decided that I can kind of count today as a productive day because I got everything ready for the DMV, even if I didn't get anything actually accomplished. So, since I was next door to Hyvee, I went in to fix this pie fiasco. Instead of buying a whole second pie though, I just went for one of those slices from the bakery. I figured, that I'd be more lenient on my tastebuds and accept that if I didn't like it, at least I didn't waste a lot of money on it. Then my stomach rumbled and I passed by the Chinese food counter. I sprung for it. It smelled so good.
I drove all the way home, checked the mail, turned on The Golden Girls, and cracked into my lunch. The pie tasted like the one from last night and aside from being cold, the Chinese food was basically flavorless. Two whole packets of soy sauce couldn't add anything to the rice.
So that's my party chock full 'o pity. Happy St. Paddy's to you too.
The pity party starts now. No need to RSVP, this is a party of one.
By getting the job, I had to kiss my vacation/time alone with my Love good-bye. He goes to Texas where there is warm weather and sunshine (I know, I know, he's also got classes to attend) and I'm stuck in my living room in an empty house. Except for the bird.
I've been trying to fill out the paperwork for this job, but one of the things I have to do is get a Chauffer's license so that I can drive the kids around. Problem: I still have only my WI driver's license. Meaning, in order to actually get this job, I have to get an Iowa license. Now, this wouldn't normally be a big deal, but I've got NOTHING that says I'd be a resident. I'm not on the utility bills, I don't get paper statements from my bank, we didn't actually sign a lease, I don't have kids to enroll in school and use the enrollment papers as proof... So, aside from the fact that I don't have a way to PROVE I moved to Iowa, I also don't have proof I've lived here for 30 days or more.
So how's this for frustrating circular reasoning? One way I can get an Iowa license is if I prove I've got a permanent job. Easy right? I'm doing this FOR the job. WRONG! I can't sign the papers that say I've got a job until I can get an Iowa license. Grrr.
So last night as I was pouting my face off wallowing in my loneliness, I figured I'd buy myself a pie. That's right. You read that correctly. A WHOLE damn pie. I thought I was going to indulge in it, bathe in it, and stuff my face with silky, chocolatey, velvety French Silk pie all night long. I grabbed my fork. Not just any fork, but one of those really sturdy ones. You know, one of those hefty forks built for devouring a whole pie? One of those. I tore open the package and unearthed my pie. I jabbed my big old fork into it and took a HUGE bite of chocolate and whipped cream.
And I could have cried. The pie tasted like crap. Not like a stale, past the expiration date crap, but more of a too-processed-to-taste-enjoyable crap.
Then to remedy the pie fiasco from last night, I worked really hard this morning to figure out ways to sweet talk the DMV attendant. I put everything that could possibly help me in a folder and hopped in the car, drove to the OPPOSITE side of town, only to to find out that the DMV isn't open on Mondays. Grrr.
I decided that I can kind of count today as a productive day because I got everything ready for the DMV, even if I didn't get anything actually accomplished. So, since I was next door to Hyvee, I went in to fix this pie fiasco. Instead of buying a whole second pie though, I just went for one of those slices from the bakery. I figured, that I'd be more lenient on my tastebuds and accept that if I didn't like it, at least I didn't waste a lot of money on it. Then my stomach rumbled and I passed by the Chinese food counter. I sprung for it. It smelled so good.
I drove all the way home, checked the mail, turned on The Golden Girls, and cracked into my lunch. The pie tasted like the one from last night and aside from being cold, the Chinese food was basically flavorless. Two whole packets of soy sauce couldn't add anything to the rice.
So that's my party chock full 'o pity. Happy St. Paddy's to you too.
Friday, March 13, 2009
Photo Friday
Back in September 2008, right around my birthday, my Love and I went on a road trip to Colorado. We got to see so many beautiful places. I think I took somewhere around 600 pictures. All of them I loved and couldn't delete. Even after I uploaded them to my computer, I still kept them on the memory card.
This photo is at the Air Force Academy's Cadet Chapel. I hadn't ever been here before, but on our way home, we stayed on base and got to tour the Academy. The Chapel is truly awe inspiring. The colors are so brilliant and the design is stunning. I love it!
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Singing In The Rain (Or Shower)
For those that have the pleasure of meeting Zoey, you'd know that she is a really awesome parrot.
Today, as I was sitting in the dining room with her, she started puffing up her feathers and dunking her head in her water dish. She was dirty and wanted a bath.
Now, I know that a lot of other people's pets really hate baths. Cats are not big fans of water... dogs just make a mess... It happens. But Zoey? She LOVES the bath. If we could leave the water on all day, she would totally take advantage of it. Sometimes, it is even hard to get her out of the bath.
One of the lucky features of this house is that the shower has a "mist" setting that allows Zoey to stand on a perch we attached to the wall of the shower and she just chills on it as the water mists over her.
So the point of this blog today?
Zoey sang in the shower today! On top of that, she just sat there in a zen-like state letting the water land on her.
She is by far, the most goofy bird I've ever met.
Today, as I was sitting in the dining room with her, she started puffing up her feathers and dunking her head in her water dish. She was dirty and wanted a bath.
Now, I know that a lot of other people's pets really hate baths. Cats are not big fans of water... dogs just make a mess... It happens. But Zoey? She LOVES the bath. If we could leave the water on all day, she would totally take advantage of it. Sometimes, it is even hard to get her out of the bath.
One of the lucky features of this house is that the shower has a "mist" setting that allows Zoey to stand on a perch we attached to the wall of the shower and she just chills on it as the water mists over her.
So the point of this blog today?
Zoey sang in the shower today! On top of that, she just sat there in a zen-like state letting the water land on her.
She is by far, the most goofy bird I've ever met.
Much Ado About Nothing
These last few days have been dragging on. And on. And on.
I'm impatiently waiting (and REALLY nervous) for my interview tomorrow. I really want something to do. Something to keep me busy and I would really like it to be something that I really want to do and would really enjoy. That's one of the big reasons that I really want this job.
I'm not made to sit at home and hang out for the day. It sucks. Most people would think that having this much time off would be just amazing, but really... There's nothing good about it.
I was so excited when they called for my second interview that I almost screamed into the phone, "YEAH! YES, I'LL BE THERE ANY TIME YOU WANT ME TO BE FOR AN INTERVIEW! PICK ME!"
And then I forgot to ask all of the general questions like where I'm supposed to go for said interview and if they would like me to bring anything extra along with me.
Oh, well.
On another note, my Love is leaving for Texas in two days and I still don't know if I'm going with. A few posts ago, I was teasing a lady that didn't know when her vacation was. Now I get it.
I'm impatiently waiting (and REALLY nervous) for my interview tomorrow. I really want something to do. Something to keep me busy and I would really like it to be something that I really want to do and would really enjoy. That's one of the big reasons that I really want this job.
I'm not made to sit at home and hang out for the day. It sucks. Most people would think that having this much time off would be just amazing, but really... There's nothing good about it.
I was so excited when they called for my second interview that I almost screamed into the phone, "YEAH! YES, I'LL BE THERE ANY TIME YOU WANT ME TO BE FOR AN INTERVIEW! PICK ME!"
And then I forgot to ask all of the general questions like where I'm supposed to go for said interview and if they would like me to bring anything extra along with me.
Oh, well.
On another note, my Love is leaving for Texas in two days and I still don't know if I'm going with. A few posts ago, I was teasing a lady that didn't know when her vacation was. Now I get it.
Friday, March 6, 2009
Photo Fridays
I'm planning on starting a new trend on my blog.
Proudly Presenting: Photo Fridays!!!
Every Friday, or at least hopefully every Friday, I'm going to post a photo I've taken on here. Aside from them being photos I've taken, there isn't going to be much of a trend between photos... or at least I don't think so.
So here it is. My first Friday photo:
This is the big Dutch style windmill in Baldwin, WI. Baldwin prides itself on it's Dutch background and heritage. As a kid, I went to the Dutch Days festival in town where the Klompen Dancers don their wooden shoes, wash the streets and dance all day. Fun memories.
Enjoy!
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Things That Make You Go, "Hmmm"
What's the online equivalent to perpetual window shopping?
Whatever it is, I think I've got it. I can't stop myself from surfing gap.com for shirts, ae.com for my favorite kind of jeans, and jcp.com for everything else. What is this terrible addiction?
Well, it might be more terrible if I were actually buying things. Instead, I torment myself by looking at things and then never making up my mind about what I want to get and then I never actually buy anything only to start all over the next day. This is awful. Downright heinous. Who does this?
In addition, it isn't just things for the current wardrobe. It is furniture for our house, it is cabinets to remodel the kitchen, it is shoes for the wedding. It is paper for the wedding or fabric for quilts. But no matter what you do, do you ever buy yardage online? Of course not! You'd never know exactly what you are buying. And I can't buy furniture without sittin my tush on a chair to see if it is really that comfy or shaking the dining room table set to see if it is sturdy. You can't just look at stuff and assume you'll like it online, YET all I do is sit and surf to find other random crap that I would never buy to begin with. Stupid.
What is my deal anyway? I even sit and think about all the different things I could buy with coupons. This is the Embarassing Admission Part Two: I have a weird and curious interest in coupons. This is a recent phenomenon for me, but it kinda freaks me out. I just can't stop thinking about going shopping with coupons. I have a secret stash in my pocket right now.
Weird.
Whatever it is, I think I've got it. I can't stop myself from surfing gap.com for shirts, ae.com for my favorite kind of jeans, and jcp.com for everything else. What is this terrible addiction?
Well, it might be more terrible if I were actually buying things. Instead, I torment myself by looking at things and then never making up my mind about what I want to get and then I never actually buy anything only to start all over the next day. This is awful. Downright heinous. Who does this?
In addition, it isn't just things for the current wardrobe. It is furniture for our house, it is cabinets to remodel the kitchen, it is shoes for the wedding. It is paper for the wedding or fabric for quilts. But no matter what you do, do you ever buy yardage online? Of course not! You'd never know exactly what you are buying. And I can't buy furniture without sittin my tush on a chair to see if it is really that comfy or shaking the dining room table set to see if it is sturdy. You can't just look at stuff and assume you'll like it online, YET all I do is sit and surf to find other random crap that I would never buy to begin with. Stupid.
What is my deal anyway? I even sit and think about all the different things I could buy with coupons. This is the Embarassing Admission Part Two: I have a weird and curious interest in coupons. This is a recent phenomenon for me, but it kinda freaks me out. I just can't stop thinking about going shopping with coupons. I have a secret stash in my pocket right now.
Weird.
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
All Moved In
It's official. Well, maybe not yet, but it will be. Tomorrow I change my address for the last time in hopefully a long time. I'm moved back and all sorts of jumbled, but I think this is really gonna work!
I'm pretty sure the post office hates me though. In July, I transfered my mailing address to my Love's apartment. Then in October, I changed it to my parents' house. Now I'm back to living with my Love and need to make it permanent.... I'm sure the post office is confused.
Other updates:
-I saw our wedding rings for the first time today! I LOVE them so much. My Love did an excellent job picking them out. I knew he would. He's awesome about that sort of thing!
-I got an email about the Africa mission trip. I'm still not sure where that sits. Hopefully a few more weeks of prayers will enlighten me.
-I'm waiting to hear back about a job. It makes me nervous, but I really need a job and I'm really excited about this one.
Other than that, I've been tagged in a photo blog of sorts and I'm trying to decide what photo to use. I know that's cheating. I'll work on that blog next.
I'm pretty sure the post office hates me though. In July, I transfered my mailing address to my Love's apartment. Then in October, I changed it to my parents' house. Now I'm back to living with my Love and need to make it permanent.... I'm sure the post office is confused.
Other updates:
-I saw our wedding rings for the first time today! I LOVE them so much. My Love did an excellent job picking them out. I knew he would. He's awesome about that sort of thing!
-I got an email about the Africa mission trip. I'm still not sure where that sits. Hopefully a few more weeks of prayers will enlighten me.
-I'm waiting to hear back about a job. It makes me nervous, but I really need a job and I'm really excited about this one.
Other than that, I've been tagged in a photo blog of sorts and I'm trying to decide what photo to use. I know that's cheating. I'll work on that blog next.
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Bitten By The Travel-bug
As the thundersnow was encasing the entire midwest, I was warm and cozy behind my desk at work. Patients were cancelling all their appointments, except for one one lady. And she sparked the travel-bug in me.
See, as I was about to reschedule her, I asked her when she was free and she said, she wanted to come back one more time before she went on vacation. I responded with the characteristic and generic comment of, "Ooh, vacation. I'm jealous. When do you leave?"
She responded with a, "Well... I don't really know."
Now, I'm pretty sure that if I were going to take a vacation, I would know for sure, without a doubt, spot on time that I was leaving. That is the start of your whole vacation, right?
So then I asked her, well, where are you going then? I suppose you wouldn't need to know an exact day you were leaving if it was just going to be a short little trip to the lake or something of the like.
"Egypt," she responded.
"YOU'RE GOING TO EGYPT AND YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHEN YOU ARE GOING?!" was my exact reaction.
"Yeah, I'm going with my husband and a tour group. We're spending eleven days in that part of the world."
"Ooh," I said, "I'm jealous. I loved Israel and have been wanting to travel some more lately."
And you know what she said? She's going to Israel too!
Never once have I ever found a single person that wants to, is serious about, or going to Israel. It seems as if everyone in this part of the world sees it as some huge danger. For those of you that think it's too dangerous, you are making yourselves one of the most deprived people in the world. Israel is amazing. I have nothing bad to say about it and would recommend it as a vacation destination to everyone. In fact, if you're going any time soon, let me know. I'll go with you. You're more likely to get killed in the US during rush hour traffic than you are in another country by weapons and hatred.
So here I sit. Totally wishing that this storm was over and that I was getting on a plane tomorrow to visit one of the best places in the world. Israel is truly amazing. I will never stop believing that and I will tell everyone how wonderful it was.
And to that lady at work.... Take me with you!
See, as I was about to reschedule her, I asked her when she was free and she said, she wanted to come back one more time before she went on vacation. I responded with the characteristic and generic comment of, "Ooh, vacation. I'm jealous. When do you leave?"
She responded with a, "Well... I don't really know."
Now, I'm pretty sure that if I were going to take a vacation, I would know for sure, without a doubt, spot on time that I was leaving. That is the start of your whole vacation, right?
So then I asked her, well, where are you going then? I suppose you wouldn't need to know an exact day you were leaving if it was just going to be a short little trip to the lake or something of the like.
"Egypt," she responded.
"YOU'RE GOING TO EGYPT AND YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHEN YOU ARE GOING?!" was my exact reaction.
"Yeah, I'm going with my husband and a tour group. We're spending eleven days in that part of the world."
"Ooh," I said, "I'm jealous. I loved Israel and have been wanting to travel some more lately."
And you know what she said? She's going to Israel too!
Never once have I ever found a single person that wants to, is serious about, or going to Israel. It seems as if everyone in this part of the world sees it as some huge danger. For those of you that think it's too dangerous, you are making yourselves one of the most deprived people in the world. Israel is amazing. I have nothing bad to say about it and would recommend it as a vacation destination to everyone. In fact, if you're going any time soon, let me know. I'll go with you. You're more likely to get killed in the US during rush hour traffic than you are in another country by weapons and hatred.
So here I sit. Totally wishing that this storm was over and that I was getting on a plane tomorrow to visit one of the best places in the world. Israel is truly amazing. I will never stop believing that and I will tell everyone how wonderful it was.
And to that lady at work.... Take me with you!
"Boy Am I Glad I Didn't Fart!"
Thanks Pastor J, that made my night.
Remember that scene in Apollo 13 where the character Blanche Lovell (Tom Hank's character's mom) says to Hanks' wife, "Are you scared? Don't you worry. If they could get a washing machine to fly, my Jimmy could land it."
I think that is one of my all time favorite movie quotes.
Remember that scene in Apollo 13 where the character Blanche Lovell (Tom Hank's character's mom) says to Hanks' wife, "Are you scared? Don't you worry. If they could get a washing machine to fly, my Jimmy could land it."
I think that is one of my all time favorite movie quotes.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Huh?
Health.
Family.
Wedding.
Scheduling.
House.
Moving.
Job.
Employment.
Interviews.
Travel.
Distance.
Time.
Money.
Dreams.
School.
Panic.
Anxiety.
Relaxation?
Family.
Wedding.
Scheduling.
House.
Moving.
Job.
Employment.
Interviews.
Travel.
Distance.
Time.
Money.
Dreams.
School.
Panic.
Anxiety.
Relaxation?
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Etch-A-Sketch Syndrome
If life hasn't been chaotic enough, why not throw in about a dozen other life-striking events?
I'm sitting at work, totally worn out from this last week, and trying to focus my thoughts into something remotely organized so that I can get rid of this raging headache. Apparently, it isn't to be.
As I was surfing online today though, I found an article about a couple that met on Flickr, a photo-sharing website. The article itself was written from a cynic's point of view. How could someone meet like that? Can you really fall in love online? Is it even real? One comment was even along the lines of how could these people be real? Who really is that attractive and how do two stunningly attractive people find each other and be extremely talented at the same thing?
Color me a skeptic, but I'm borderline challenging it myself. It almost seems too romantic to be true. Then again, I consider myself to be extremely lucky and while I'm not exactly talented at the same things he is, my Love and I have a lot of those moments where we realize how much we are actually in sync.
Then I fade into the hopelessly romantic side of myself and dream of all the love and struggles I know I'll share with my Love. We're all going through some tough times; emotionally, spiritually, physically, and mentally. We all pray that we'll get through it and I know we will. It all just takes a little time and lots of love.
I'm sitting at work, totally worn out from this last week, and trying to focus my thoughts into something remotely organized so that I can get rid of this raging headache. Apparently, it isn't to be.
As I was surfing online today though, I found an article about a couple that met on Flickr, a photo-sharing website. The article itself was written from a cynic's point of view. How could someone meet like that? Can you really fall in love online? Is it even real? One comment was even along the lines of how could these people be real? Who really is that attractive and how do two stunningly attractive people find each other and be extremely talented at the same thing?
Color me a skeptic, but I'm borderline challenging it myself. It almost seems too romantic to be true. Then again, I consider myself to be extremely lucky and while I'm not exactly talented at the same things he is, my Love and I have a lot of those moments where we realize how much we are actually in sync.
Then I fade into the hopelessly romantic side of myself and dream of all the love and struggles I know I'll share with my Love. We're all going through some tough times; emotionally, spiritually, physically, and mentally. We all pray that we'll get through it and I know we will. It all just takes a little time and lots of love.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Sunday, February 8, 2009
Seriously?!
Who the hell gives you movable objects as directional landmarks?
The response when asked was, "Well! Those CARS were there when I called to have you pick me up!! If you wouldn't have TAKEN 30 MINUTES to get here, you would have seen them!!!"
So then, why was there a 30 minute delay?
Because some State Trooper with NO LIFE was chilling out on the old highway at the town line and his radar picked us up GOING 30 MPH IN A 25 MPH ZONE!! AND proceeded to pull us over. I was laughing so hard, he must have thought I was on drugs.
Who really does that? It's after midnight, on a road that no one uses, we were going 5 miles over the limit.
Someone CLEARLY has nothing better to do.
The response when asked was, "Well! Those CARS were there when I called to have you pick me up!! If you wouldn't have TAKEN 30 MINUTES to get here, you would have seen them!!!"
So then, why was there a 30 minute delay?
Because some State Trooper with NO LIFE was chilling out on the old highway at the town line and his radar picked us up GOING 30 MPH IN A 25 MPH ZONE!! AND proceeded to pull us over. I was laughing so hard, he must have thought I was on drugs.
Who really does that? It's after midnight, on a road that no one uses, we were going 5 miles over the limit.
Someone CLEARLY has nothing better to do.
Friday, February 6, 2009
Africa: Take 2
Back in November, I'd gotten word from the Peace Corps Placement Office, that although I had recognizable skills, I just didn't have the experience they were looking for. My understanding is this had something to do with funding, or lack thereof.
I guess I'd kind of resigned my thoughts to the point that it just wasn't in the cards for me right now. I went to the side of it that I'll have plenty of time and the Peace Corps might be something I can do later in life.
Then, to my surprise, a woman from church sent out a letter detailing what she wants to do for her next mission. See, she has gone a few times to a village in Kenya to work with women and children that have been orphaned, abused, and homeless. She has helped with many other projects from creating jobs for women, find educators for productive farming, and matched American sponsors to orphaned children. There is so much more than that, but those are just a few.
When I first moved back to Wisconsin, I was using the church's wireless to hang out on my laptop, and while I was there, this lady came in looking for help. She needed to create a powerpoint presentation about these African missions, but didn't know how. Seeing that I had all the time in the world, I said I'd help her out.
Now she thinks that I'm completely computer talented and wants me to go to Africa with her to help with the administration and technical aspects that this expanding project needs. I must say, I think she's got more confidence in my computer capabilities than I deserve. Apparently, I come across to everyone as a techie, but they are totally wrong. If my computer doesn't work, I fuss and whine, and ask my Love to fix it. Granted, I guess I can fix most things on my own, but yeah... We'll see.
The other thing is that she wants to get a book/calendar published using writings from someone that's been there and using photos taken by volunteers. I took a picture when Love and I went to Colorado that countless people have loved and at an auction for the church it sold for upwards of $70. Knowing that, she wants me to be the photographer. So, not only would I get to go to Africa, but I would be PUBLISHED! For some reason, I can't find a single bad thing about that. Haha.
So here are the negatives:
I guess I'd kind of resigned my thoughts to the point that it just wasn't in the cards for me right now. I went to the side of it that I'll have plenty of time and the Peace Corps might be something I can do later in life.
Then, to my surprise, a woman from church sent out a letter detailing what she wants to do for her next mission. See, she has gone a few times to a village in Kenya to work with women and children that have been orphaned, abused, and homeless. She has helped with many other projects from creating jobs for women, find educators for productive farming, and matched American sponsors to orphaned children. There is so much more than that, but those are just a few.
When I first moved back to Wisconsin, I was using the church's wireless to hang out on my laptop, and while I was there, this lady came in looking for help. She needed to create a powerpoint presentation about these African missions, but didn't know how. Seeing that I had all the time in the world, I said I'd help her out.
Now she thinks that I'm completely computer talented and wants me to go to Africa with her to help with the administration and technical aspects that this expanding project needs. I must say, I think she's got more confidence in my computer capabilities than I deserve. Apparently, I come across to everyone as a techie, but they are totally wrong. If my computer doesn't work, I fuss and whine, and ask my Love to fix it. Granted, I guess I can fix most things on my own, but yeah... We'll see.
The other thing is that she wants to get a book/calendar published using writings from someone that's been there and using photos taken by volunteers. I took a picture when Love and I went to Colorado that countless people have loved and at an auction for the church it sold for upwards of $70. Knowing that, she wants me to be the photographer. So, not only would I get to go to Africa, but I would be PUBLISHED! For some reason, I can't find a single bad thing about that. Haha.
So here are the negatives:
- This trip would cost somewhere in the neighborhood of $2500 dollars or more.
- It would take place shortly after Love and I get married.
- Love WOULD be able to go with me, BUT he's going back to school, has his full time job, and since we'll have taken time off for the wedding, he might not have time off to go to Africa
- I might not be able to get time off, depending on the job I get.
The pros:
- Mission to Africa. (Nuf' said)
- Create an administration program. (Can we all scream EXPERIENCE!)
- Having writings and photos published for distribution. (Wicked exciting)
- Strong probability for fundraising to knock down costs. (Isn't there some sort of tax deduction for mission work overseas?)
- One hell of a honeymoon story to tell our grandkids. "Yeah, we skipped out on the private Caribbean island to volunteer our time and talents to women and children from a war-torn country."
I'm sure there are way more for both the pro and con list, but I just wanted to throw this out there. I'm hoping God will provide some answers. This is a second opportunity to go to Africa and one that would allow my Love to go too, and if it still isn't right, I'll believe him, but I'm willing to give it a shot.
On a different note, I have really gotten into quilting. I've made a baby blanket and pillow for a certain Baby B that we're all excited for, a piano music bag for my sister for her birthday, a decorative pillow for my Mom-in-Law (future), and have started a bed quilt to give to my Love as a wedding present. I have my crafty days.
P.S. I'm really hoping Africa works out in some way.
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Pickles Are Cucumbers Soaked In Evil
I had a lot to say for that last entry, but skipped most of it because it would have been too long. Now I don't care. It's going to be long.
I think it is often hard for people to focus on the good things in their life when they have lots of things weighing on their minds. It is easy to focus on current concerns. That's how I work too. It's really easy for me to focus on all the things that I feel are going wrong in my world. It's really easy for me to feel stressed and overwhelmed by the dozens of strings that I feel are pulling me around like a marionette. As if it isn't even my life I'm living, just a twisted, tangled version of some playwright's script. The vignettes today day find me in places that I'm not sure how to sort out.
Growing up, I wanted to believe that I'd find "the One" while I was in college. "The One" and I would date and be married in college, start our lives together with our graduations and work together. Isn't this some psychotic new generation image of the perfect 1950's woman? Instead of gushing over my new fangled washer and dryer, I was dreaming of a career. Instead of taking classes on etiquette and housekeeping, my classes consisted of the modern military and group interaction.
Since I obviously didn't get married WHILE I was in school, I guess I'd resigned myself to believe that I'd be one of those career driven women and throw myself into singledom by pretending I didn't care and made every effort to get away from it all.
And then my eyes opened. Or maybe it was just the electricity of the night that made me realize how wonderful he was. This guy that had been in my life for years. This guy that had respectfully and patiently listened to me through everything over the years. Now it just seemed right. We've often talked and teased each other about why we didn't start dating earlier. We've come to the conclusion that WE as a couple wouldn't have worked without the growing and learning we had to do as individuals. We just weren't ready.
So here we are. Together, in the dating sense. We are so far apart from each other, it makes me want to cry. He's two states away and although we text each other about 10 times a minute and call each other all the time, it's just not the same. I get to see him in 182 hours and 5 minutes and I can't wait! Go ahead and make fun of me for counting, but he's my best friend. I can't help it.
So here I get to the point of this. We're planning a wedding. Or trying. We have some of the most awkward family dynamics that I've ever heard of and it's stressful. I'm not saying that I'm assuming every wedding has been perfect and that everything fell together like a well designed puzzle, but this is just too much.
My Love told me a two weeks ago that he thought I was thinking too much about the wedding. What I want to know, is who doesn't think about their wedding? While I know that it is 27 weeks and 4 days away, I can't take care of everything now. Yet, if I want things at the wedding, I need to be able to have the opportunity to decide on them. We're trying to keep the cost fairly reasonable too, so of course I'm going to come up with lots of options and then sit down to figure out which costs more or what I'm willing to take away. *Scoff* Thinking too much about the wedding...
The other part about this, and this is the part that is irking me the most tonight, is how my decisions on wedding things seem to not be the "right" ones. I also had every intention of not ranting about specific people, but this one is hard to do.
My family lives under the belief that no matter what, your siblings are going to be a part of your wedding. I can't help it that my sister and I have NEVER gotten along. My entirely life consisted of moments when I was supposed to "play nice", be the "better person", or "go along" with things I didn't want because she reacts differently to things. I'd go to school at o-dark thirty in the morning and sleep in the hallways because she didn't like the people who had lockers next to hers. When report cards came, we had a "You Are Special Today" plate that we'd use at dinner, and she'd always pout through the times that I got it. She never came to any of my concerts, art shows, or sporting events. She didn't even come to my graduation. She also moved away a number of years ago and only calls when she needs something or when she knows it's her birthday or Christmas and people should be buying her things.
So here we are, at present times, with me planning a wedding. I can't help it that I wanted my best friends to be there with me. I would pick my bestest best friend for a bridesmaid if I could, but he's already in the wedding... As the groom. So, I picked my next three friends that I share everything with. So where does that leave my sister? Not as a bridesmaid. I know that sounds harsh, but maybe in my opinion, Ms. Manners can eat it. Etiquette be damned.
When I called my sister to tell her that we set a date and to "Mark the Calendar! I'm getting MARRIED!!", her response was, "Oh. Okay. We'll have to see. I might have to work that day." I'm not sure if you remember, but the wedding is MONTHS away. I'm sure a little planning and a boss would be understanding. But that is also her very convenient excuse to duck out of anything family related. At Christmas they visited, but didn't give a day they'd leave. Then, when free laundry was done, they were like, "Well, he might have to work tomorrow. Bye." Right. I'm pretty sure no one can live without their pizza delivery boy.
So, in an effort to make peace and fewer, smaller waves, I asked her to be a part of the wedding in a different way. I need help with some of the organizing and with hair, makeup, etc. I asked her to be an attendant. Apparently, that job means "the-bride-feels-guilty-and-made-up-a-job-so-that-I-can't-actually-cry-but-I-can-sulk-and-pout-about-not-being-in-the-wedding". News to me.
I tried talking to her again today. Two words: Epic Fail. The answer was, "I'll think about it, but I might not even come." Fuck you. If you don't want to be a part of the wedding, than just say it. If you don't want to be there, then just don't come and DON'T pout. Grow up and realize that this isn't your wedding.
That's my rant on that one. Is this blog long enough? I didn't get a chance to talk about jobs, houses, money, quilting, baking, Grandmas, and everything else on my mind. Oh, well.
Next time.
I think it is often hard for people to focus on the good things in their life when they have lots of things weighing on their minds. It is easy to focus on current concerns. That's how I work too. It's really easy for me to focus on all the things that I feel are going wrong in my world. It's really easy for me to feel stressed and overwhelmed by the dozens of strings that I feel are pulling me around like a marionette. As if it isn't even my life I'm living, just a twisted, tangled version of some playwright's script. The vignettes today day find me in places that I'm not sure how to sort out.
Growing up, I wanted to believe that I'd find "the One" while I was in college. "The One" and I would date and be married in college, start our lives together with our graduations and work together. Isn't this some psychotic new generation image of the perfect 1950's woman? Instead of gushing over my new fangled washer and dryer, I was dreaming of a career. Instead of taking classes on etiquette and housekeeping, my classes consisted of the modern military and group interaction.
Since I obviously didn't get married WHILE I was in school, I guess I'd resigned myself to believe that I'd be one of those career driven women and throw myself into singledom by pretending I didn't care and made every effort to get away from it all.
And then my eyes opened. Or maybe it was just the electricity of the night that made me realize how wonderful he was. This guy that had been in my life for years. This guy that had respectfully and patiently listened to me through everything over the years. Now it just seemed right. We've often talked and teased each other about why we didn't start dating earlier. We've come to the conclusion that WE as a couple wouldn't have worked without the growing and learning we had to do as individuals. We just weren't ready.
So here we are. Together, in the dating sense. We are so far apart from each other, it makes me want to cry. He's two states away and although we text each other about 10 times a minute and call each other all the time, it's just not the same. I get to see him in 182 hours and 5 minutes and I can't wait! Go ahead and make fun of me for counting, but he's my best friend. I can't help it.
So here I get to the point of this. We're planning a wedding. Or trying. We have some of the most awkward family dynamics that I've ever heard of and it's stressful. I'm not saying that I'm assuming every wedding has been perfect and that everything fell together like a well designed puzzle, but this is just too much.
My Love told me a two weeks ago that he thought I was thinking too much about the wedding. What I want to know, is who doesn't think about their wedding? While I know that it is 27 weeks and 4 days away, I can't take care of everything now. Yet, if I want things at the wedding, I need to be able to have the opportunity to decide on them. We're trying to keep the cost fairly reasonable too, so of course I'm going to come up with lots of options and then sit down to figure out which costs more or what I'm willing to take away. *Scoff* Thinking too much about the wedding...
The other part about this, and this is the part that is irking me the most tonight, is how my decisions on wedding things seem to not be the "right" ones. I also had every intention of not ranting about specific people, but this one is hard to do.
My family lives under the belief that no matter what, your siblings are going to be a part of your wedding. I can't help it that my sister and I have NEVER gotten along. My entirely life consisted of moments when I was supposed to "play nice", be the "better person", or "go along" with things I didn't want because she reacts differently to things. I'd go to school at o-dark thirty in the morning and sleep in the hallways because she didn't like the people who had lockers next to hers. When report cards came, we had a "You Are Special Today" plate that we'd use at dinner, and she'd always pout through the times that I got it. She never came to any of my concerts, art shows, or sporting events. She didn't even come to my graduation. She also moved away a number of years ago and only calls when she needs something or when she knows it's her birthday or Christmas and people should be buying her things.
So here we are, at present times, with me planning a wedding. I can't help it that I wanted my best friends to be there with me. I would pick my bestest best friend for a bridesmaid if I could, but he's already in the wedding... As the groom. So, I picked my next three friends that I share everything with. So where does that leave my sister? Not as a bridesmaid. I know that sounds harsh, but maybe in my opinion, Ms. Manners can eat it. Etiquette be damned.
When I called my sister to tell her that we set a date and to "Mark the Calendar! I'm getting MARRIED!!", her response was, "Oh. Okay. We'll have to see. I might have to work that day." I'm not sure if you remember, but the wedding is MONTHS away. I'm sure a little planning and a boss would be understanding. But that is also her very convenient excuse to duck out of anything family related. At Christmas they visited, but didn't give a day they'd leave. Then, when free laundry was done, they were like, "Well, he might have to work tomorrow. Bye." Right. I'm pretty sure no one can live without their pizza delivery boy.
So, in an effort to make peace and fewer, smaller waves, I asked her to be a part of the wedding in a different way. I need help with some of the organizing and with hair, makeup, etc. I asked her to be an attendant. Apparently, that job means "the-bride-feels-guilty-and-made-up-a-job-so-that-I-can't-actually-cry-but-I-can-sulk-and-pout-about-not-being-in-the-wedding". News to me.
I tried talking to her again today. Two words: Epic Fail. The answer was, "I'll think about it, but I might not even come." Fuck you. If you don't want to be a part of the wedding, than just say it. If you don't want to be there, then just don't come and DON'T pout. Grow up and realize that this isn't your wedding.
That's my rant on that one. Is this blog long enough? I didn't get a chance to talk about jobs, houses, money, quilting, baking, Grandmas, and everything else on my mind. Oh, well.
Next time.
Monday, February 2, 2009
What Is With This Irrational Fear?
On New Years' this year, I fell down a flight of stairs. Hard. Not only did I totally wipe out, but all of the things I was holding - the 5 wedding magazines tucked under my arm, the pile of laundry balanced on a hand as if it was a platter of drinks, my phone up to my ear held on by my shoulder, and my bag that I carry basically everything in back and forth to work - flew down the stairs with me. I landed on my back against the edge of the stairs and with my legs twisted beneath me. I was fine.... kind of. I couldn't move for about 20 long minutes and then I couldn't stand up, walk, or lay down because of the pain in my back. I wasn't sure what I did, but I knew it wasn't good. Then two days later, I was feeling even more sore when I leaned down to pick up something I'd foolishly dropped. As I did, everything popped back into place. It felt amazing.
So the point of the story? I now fear that every time I go down a flight of stairs, I'm going to fall. I panic, then grab the railing, and then slowly descend. Why? Because I fell? Isn't there a lesson somewhere that says that if you fall, you must get back up? Show the world that you are capable of standing up again? Apparently I'm scared. I can't even go down the stairs anymore.
Remember when you were little and you had zero fears? I once jumped off a roof when I was little because my friend's sister was in cheerleading and said she knew how to catch me. About 8 years later, I climbed up on a roof to help with Christmas lights and once my irrational fears struck me, I got stuck on the roof for hours.
Another example? I loved winter sports. Particularly sledding. I remember when Dad would build an ice chute in the yard so that we could luge through the yard. Then one year, I was sledding and in an effort to stop, I leaned out of the sled. An ice sheet caught my hand and I couldn't feel anything but shooting pain in my wrist for days. I thought I'd broken about 12 bones in my hand. Now I don't go sledding. Down hill skiing scares the crap out of me. Just thinking about it makes my wrist hurt again.
So where does this put me? Will I ever get over some of these silly fears? Will I ever be able to jump down a flight of stairs again? Fall openly and wholeheartedly?
I think that's a yes. Why? Because I've totally fallen for my best friend. He knows this. Or he should; we're getting married. :D I also know that he's one of the most compassionate, caring, loving, and capable people God could have ever put in my life. He makes me smile and my heart flutter. I think it's called being twitterpated.
I'll have more to update later. Now, it's time for bed.
So the point of the story? I now fear that every time I go down a flight of stairs, I'm going to fall. I panic, then grab the railing, and then slowly descend. Why? Because I fell? Isn't there a lesson somewhere that says that if you fall, you must get back up? Show the world that you are capable of standing up again? Apparently I'm scared. I can't even go down the stairs anymore.
Remember when you were little and you had zero fears? I once jumped off a roof when I was little because my friend's sister was in cheerleading and said she knew how to catch me. About 8 years later, I climbed up on a roof to help with Christmas lights and once my irrational fears struck me, I got stuck on the roof for hours.
Another example? I loved winter sports. Particularly sledding. I remember when Dad would build an ice chute in the yard so that we could luge through the yard. Then one year, I was sledding and in an effort to stop, I leaned out of the sled. An ice sheet caught my hand and I couldn't feel anything but shooting pain in my wrist for days. I thought I'd broken about 12 bones in my hand. Now I don't go sledding. Down hill skiing scares the crap out of me. Just thinking about it makes my wrist hurt again.
So where does this put me? Will I ever get over some of these silly fears? Will I ever be able to jump down a flight of stairs again? Fall openly and wholeheartedly?
I think that's a yes. Why? Because I've totally fallen for my best friend. He knows this. Or he should; we're getting married. :D I also know that he's one of the most compassionate, caring, loving, and capable people God could have ever put in my life. He makes me smile and my heart flutter. I think it's called being twitterpated.
I'll have more to update later. Now, it's time for bed.
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
8 Christmases Later
I'm tired. And drained.
I kind of feel like I've got nothing left to give anyone. No love, no happiness. Not even anger or disappointment. Just apathy.
I loved my holiday season. I got to see nearly 98% of my family. That is a stunningly large percent considering everyone was traveling. Usually, it is much lower than that.
I can appreciate the holiday season. It is supposed to be a time of rebirth. Of growth. Of love and forgiveness. Of sharing and hospitality. Of pure open-hearted joy. Of peace and relaxation. It is a time that you can set aside almost everything in your life and try to look at your life from the outside in and appreciate, acknowledge, and affirm what your life is.
Not every holiday season is going to be the best. They aren't planned out to be the bigger and better gala event than last year's. As we grow and change, so does our understanding and ability to see the simplicity that the holiday season is supposed to hold. We worry about money and if our gifts are going to be good enough. We worry about family and making everyone happy. We learn to fret over making it the best. Where did the appreciation for the simple get lost?
I think one of my New Year's resolutions is going to make my life more simple. Revert to the more basic. I'm all for quality, but quantity is what I'm going to change. I'm going to get rid of the "junk" in my life.
Switch.
Here's my rant. I'm slowly starting to sort things out, but it is taking way too much time and for everyone that knows me, you know that my mind can move about a million times faster than the things that function in the real world. It would be fantastic to sit down for one hour and plan something, complete from start to finish. The problem? I usually do it late at night and I can't do anything about it. And when I finally can do something about it, it doesn't go as fast or as good as assumed or promised.
I want to move down to be with my future husband. Cool beans, right? Future husband. I love the sound of that. And of course there are things that make it difficult. I want so much to be there with him, but it just doesn't seem like it's going to work the way things currently sit. His bachelor's pad is perfect for him and the bird, but it isn't a space meant for two. As much as I love him, we need to both be able to move around. Humans take up space. Here's to my resolution again. Get rid of the junk. But I still don't think that is going to help much.
The kicker of my rant though is right here. I hate living in two places at once. I hate not being able to unpack. For example. My laptop has wireless which works at his place, and all of my friends' places. There's dial-up at home, which works there because we don't use the internet a lot there. But for job hunting online (seeing that I'm two states away and can't apply in person), it sucks because all my resumes and personal documents are on my laptop (WHICH DOESN'T WORK AT HOME BECAUSE THERE'S NO WIRELESS) and all my job hunting is done on a different computer. So when I actually find one that I like and want to apply for. Guess what? I can't. I don't and can't put documents on this computer.
It's one great big circle of non-functional crap. Yay for me.
That's it. Peace. Joy. Goodwill toward all. And remember to always wear your seatbelt.
I kind of feel like I've got nothing left to give anyone. No love, no happiness. Not even anger or disappointment. Just apathy.
I loved my holiday season. I got to see nearly 98% of my family. That is a stunningly large percent considering everyone was traveling. Usually, it is much lower than that.
I can appreciate the holiday season. It is supposed to be a time of rebirth. Of growth. Of love and forgiveness. Of sharing and hospitality. Of pure open-hearted joy. Of peace and relaxation. It is a time that you can set aside almost everything in your life and try to look at your life from the outside in and appreciate, acknowledge, and affirm what your life is.
Not every holiday season is going to be the best. They aren't planned out to be the bigger and better gala event than last year's. As we grow and change, so does our understanding and ability to see the simplicity that the holiday season is supposed to hold. We worry about money and if our gifts are going to be good enough. We worry about family and making everyone happy. We learn to fret over making it the best. Where did the appreciation for the simple get lost?
I think one of my New Year's resolutions is going to make my life more simple. Revert to the more basic. I'm all for quality, but quantity is what I'm going to change. I'm going to get rid of the "junk" in my life.
Switch.
Here's my rant. I'm slowly starting to sort things out, but it is taking way too much time and for everyone that knows me, you know that my mind can move about a million times faster than the things that function in the real world. It would be fantastic to sit down for one hour and plan something, complete from start to finish. The problem? I usually do it late at night and I can't do anything about it. And when I finally can do something about it, it doesn't go as fast or as good as assumed or promised.
I want to move down to be with my future husband. Cool beans, right? Future husband. I love the sound of that. And of course there are things that make it difficult. I want so much to be there with him, but it just doesn't seem like it's going to work the way things currently sit. His bachelor's pad is perfect for him and the bird, but it isn't a space meant for two. As much as I love him, we need to both be able to move around. Humans take up space. Here's to my resolution again. Get rid of the junk. But I still don't think that is going to help much.
The kicker of my rant though is right here. I hate living in two places at once. I hate not being able to unpack. For example. My laptop has wireless which works at his place, and all of my friends' places. There's dial-up at home, which works there because we don't use the internet a lot there. But for job hunting online (seeing that I'm two states away and can't apply in person), it sucks because all my resumes and personal documents are on my laptop (WHICH DOESN'T WORK AT HOME BECAUSE THERE'S NO WIRELESS) and all my job hunting is done on a different computer. So when I actually find one that I like and want to apply for. Guess what? I can't. I don't and can't put documents on this computer.
It's one great big circle of non-functional crap. Yay for me.
That's it. Peace. Joy. Goodwill toward all. And remember to always wear your seatbelt.
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