It's happened again. I had to say good-bye to my love. Shortly after my last blog, my wonderfully amazing boyfriend came to visit and we went on a surprise road trip to Northern Wisconsin to see some of his family. These visits keep getting shorter and shorter and further and further apart from each other. This really is harder than I thought it would be. So, yes, he left again. He had is "real" job to get back to. Haha. I'm kidding. I love that he's got something that he is passionate about and does whole-heartedly. He needs that.
But I'm going to miss him dearly.
And all of a sudden this week has included just as much travel as my month of September. Except not such far distances. We were in Eastern Minnesota on Tuesday, Northern Wisconsin on Wednesday, back to Central Wisconsin on Thursday. Then tomorrow it's to Southeast Wisconsin for a STATE MARCHING BAND CHAMPIONSHIP COMPETITION!! I'm really excited for that. Didn't know if you missed my enthusiasm. YAY!!
Yet, as I type this, I'm sad and listening to a song that everyone should hear at least once if not a thousand times in their life. I suggest everyone quick hit Youtube or iTunes and look for "River Flows In You" by Yiruma. My sister has been playing this on the piano and I'm in love with it. It is just the right balance of happy and sad. It's romantic. The story behind it is that it is also called "Bella's Lullaby". Bella as in the character in Stephanie Meyer's novels in the Twilight Series. It is talked about in almost every book in the series and is in the movie based on the first book that comes out in November. I had no intention of reading the book, but my sister talked me into it and although I'm well out of the intended target audience for the book, it is one that I loved.
And on my last note before I go lose in tennis with my best friend and her mom, I want to see if anyone knows if the street on Highway 8 in Wisconsin curiously named 24 3/8th Street is similar to Harry Potter's Platform 9 3/4. Do you suppose that if I'd have taken that street, I'd end up in a mythical world full of enchanting creatures and endless magic?
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
What Did You Say?!
I need to work on my writing consistency. Right? This last little hiatus is explained (or excused) by saying that by the time I get around to signing into my blog account, I've lost all my patience with the internet that moves the speed of government change. Even grass grows faster.
Anyway.
This last week I've had a few opportunites to work on my speaking skills. In high school, I used to love the competition public speaking club and activities. I loved talking to people. And as much as I did presentations for classes in college, it has never been the same.
Let's just say it's been awhile.
Starting with my volunteering to speak at a high school class on options available in college and after college, such as ROTC and the Peace Corps, it was very obvious that I hadn't done a presentation in a LONG time. Granted, I want to put it out there that I don't think this one went as well for a couple reasons. It's hard for me to talk about those topics with a bunch of high schoolers because I quit ROTC and the Peace Corps isn't an after high school option for them. The other thing is that I really had anticipated much more participation from them and that was quite lacking. Just practice for the Peace Corps I guess....
I was also asked to talk to one of the Bible Study classes at my church over the weekend. This one was maybe a little easier because I'm very involved with my topics. I hold them very near and dear to my heart. A week ago, one of the women in this bunch approached me and asked if I would be willing to talk about how I knew the PC was right for me. Their lesson that day had been on how God talks to us, but how it isn't is ways that are blatantly obvious.
I'm going to take a little detour here and talk about my faith. This is hard for me and I know that not everyone wants to read this sort of thing, but I have to say this is important for me, now that I know what to say.
I grew up in a household that made it seem that attending church was not an option. I must admit, I learned a lot, had lots of fun, and it really helped me become the compassionate person I feel that I am. But as soon as I was able to, I really felt I needed to become more aware of the other religions around me. I've never wanted to convert to anything else, but I just want to know about them. It goes into my belief that the reason there is so much discord in the world is because although everyone needs something to believe in, they are so focused on it that they refuse to see and learn about everyone else's. So when I left for college, it was left up to me to go to church and I no longer felt like it wasn't an option. It was MY choice.
Here's my secret. I didn't like the churches down there. I didn't like how they made me feel. I never felt inspired by them. I didn't feel like I was growing with them.
So of course it hurt my family when they would ask how church was and I would respond with, "I didn't go." But it gave me even more inspiration to learn even more about the world around me. I took classes on modern and traditional religious and world religions. I was so happy. It gave me a way to feel I was still advancing my education and beliefs at the same time. No, it wasn't church, but I felt okay with that.
Then I went through a phase that I was just content. I knew what I believed in and that was that. The hard part about it was when my family told me that I needed to not only believe it, but act upon it. They were worried that I'd given up on my faith. And you know what? I was almost tempted to let them believe that. Why couldn't they just be happy for me and all I'd learned? How hard is it to let me be with my faith and accept that the picture I've got in my eyes is different than the one in yours? Apparently, that was hard and WAY too much to ask for.
Maybe that was just it. I think I just answered my own question. The pictures and images in my head weren't theirs. Unique unto my own.
So how did I know the Peace Corps was where I belonged? It fit into my picture.
Now that I'm back at home, I've taken up teaching Sunday School. It's got its difficulties, but really. I'm happy with it. So when this woman approached me to talk at her Bible Study too, I jumped at the chance, hoping I could explain myself. I also took picture from my recent vacation to help me voice my images of faith. I'm not sure where I lost it, but once I started crying my eyes out, I noticed that a lot of other people in that room had too. I'm sorry to make everyone cry. It's hard not to when you feel so strongly about something.
I was also going to throw something in here about past speeches that I've had to make. And how they really didn't encompass what I wanted them too. Especially about this one. I could have said so much at my friend's wedding, but instead I kept it short. I'll just let you know, R, I think I could have broke down in tears there too. You rock and I'm so blessed to have you as a friend. A friend for so long. Thanks.
Ok. So, I apparently had a lot to talk about on this one. Who knows about the next one, but thanks for listening. I'll make the next one shorter.
Anyway.
This last week I've had a few opportunites to work on my speaking skills. In high school, I used to love the competition public speaking club and activities. I loved talking to people. And as much as I did presentations for classes in college, it has never been the same.
Let's just say it's been awhile.
Starting with my volunteering to speak at a high school class on options available in college and after college, such as ROTC and the Peace Corps, it was very obvious that I hadn't done a presentation in a LONG time. Granted, I want to put it out there that I don't think this one went as well for a couple reasons. It's hard for me to talk about those topics with a bunch of high schoolers because I quit ROTC and the Peace Corps isn't an after high school option for them. The other thing is that I really had anticipated much more participation from them and that was quite lacking. Just practice for the Peace Corps I guess....
I was also asked to talk to one of the Bible Study classes at my church over the weekend. This one was maybe a little easier because I'm very involved with my topics. I hold them very near and dear to my heart. A week ago, one of the women in this bunch approached me and asked if I would be willing to talk about how I knew the PC was right for me. Their lesson that day had been on how God talks to us, but how it isn't is ways that are blatantly obvious.
I'm going to take a little detour here and talk about my faith. This is hard for me and I know that not everyone wants to read this sort of thing, but I have to say this is important for me, now that I know what to say.
I grew up in a household that made it seem that attending church was not an option. I must admit, I learned a lot, had lots of fun, and it really helped me become the compassionate person I feel that I am. But as soon as I was able to, I really felt I needed to become more aware of the other religions around me. I've never wanted to convert to anything else, but I just want to know about them. It goes into my belief that the reason there is so much discord in the world is because although everyone needs something to believe in, they are so focused on it that they refuse to see and learn about everyone else's. So when I left for college, it was left up to me to go to church and I no longer felt like it wasn't an option. It was MY choice.
Here's my secret. I didn't like the churches down there. I didn't like how they made me feel. I never felt inspired by them. I didn't feel like I was growing with them.
So of course it hurt my family when they would ask how church was and I would respond with, "I didn't go." But it gave me even more inspiration to learn even more about the world around me. I took classes on modern and traditional religious and world religions. I was so happy. It gave me a way to feel I was still advancing my education and beliefs at the same time. No, it wasn't church, but I felt okay with that.
Then I went through a phase that I was just content. I knew what I believed in and that was that. The hard part about it was when my family told me that I needed to not only believe it, but act upon it. They were worried that I'd given up on my faith. And you know what? I was almost tempted to let them believe that. Why couldn't they just be happy for me and all I'd learned? How hard is it to let me be with my faith and accept that the picture I've got in my eyes is different than the one in yours? Apparently, that was hard and WAY too much to ask for.
Maybe that was just it. I think I just answered my own question. The pictures and images in my head weren't theirs. Unique unto my own.
So how did I know the Peace Corps was where I belonged? It fit into my picture.
Now that I'm back at home, I've taken up teaching Sunday School. It's got its difficulties, but really. I'm happy with it. So when this woman approached me to talk at her Bible Study too, I jumped at the chance, hoping I could explain myself. I also took picture from my recent vacation to help me voice my images of faith. I'm not sure where I lost it, but once I started crying my eyes out, I noticed that a lot of other people in that room had too. I'm sorry to make everyone cry. It's hard not to when you feel so strongly about something.
I was also going to throw something in here about past speeches that I've had to make. And how they really didn't encompass what I wanted them too. Especially about this one. I could have said so much at my friend's wedding, but instead I kept it short. I'll just let you know, R, I think I could have broke down in tears there too. You rock and I'm so blessed to have you as a friend. A friend for so long. Thanks.
Ok. So, I apparently had a lot to talk about on this one. Who knows about the next one, but thanks for listening. I'll make the next one shorter.
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Updates
I hate hate HATE leaving. It is so hard to say goodbye.
That's my first update. Kind of. I've "officially" moved back to Wisconsin. Or, at least I permanently get my mail sent there. I knew that it would be hard to leave, but I never quite realized how hard. Makes sense though. And I might as well get used to it, I mean, I'm leaving the country.... THAT'S RIGHT! I got my Peace Corps Medical Clearance today!!!
Granted, that is just one more step in the everlasting process to be invited to another country, but it is a big one. It means that my file is now being passed on to the Placement Officers out there to match me to a country. I actually just talked to one of the Reps in the area and he gave me some hope too, but also reminded me that the PC is starting to cut back in huge numbers. So now I rest in limbo yet again, but in a different place. Just waiting again.
I want to also comment on another person. I am hurt by their immaturity and childish attitudes, but I've come to terms with the fact that not everyone is my friend to just be my friend. It would seem that even those you've been close to for years are merely on a mission to get something in return other than just friendship. I can't say that I appreciate the drunk dialing at 1, 3, AND 4 in the morning. Go out and get stupid. Go out and do whatever you want to prove to yourself that you are the better person, but please, don't prove yourself to me by calling me and hanging up at the most unreal hours of the morning. Get a grip and grow up.
And I'm looking for inspiration for my Sunday School class. And looking for jobs. And looking to relax. And looking to spend time with my loved ones. Work in progress.
Work in progress.
That's my first update. Kind of. I've "officially" moved back to Wisconsin. Or, at least I permanently get my mail sent there. I knew that it would be hard to leave, but I never quite realized how hard. Makes sense though. And I might as well get used to it, I mean, I'm leaving the country.... THAT'S RIGHT! I got my Peace Corps Medical Clearance today!!!
Granted, that is just one more step in the everlasting process to be invited to another country, but it is a big one. It means that my file is now being passed on to the Placement Officers out there to match me to a country. I actually just talked to one of the Reps in the area and he gave me some hope too, but also reminded me that the PC is starting to cut back in huge numbers. So now I rest in limbo yet again, but in a different place. Just waiting again.
I want to also comment on another person. I am hurt by their immaturity and childish attitudes, but I've come to terms with the fact that not everyone is my friend to just be my friend. It would seem that even those you've been close to for years are merely on a mission to get something in return other than just friendship. I can't say that I appreciate the drunk dialing at 1, 3, AND 4 in the morning. Go out and get stupid. Go out and do whatever you want to prove to yourself that you are the better person, but please, don't prove yourself to me by calling me and hanging up at the most unreal hours of the morning. Get a grip and grow up.
And I'm looking for inspiration for my Sunday School class. And looking for jobs. And looking to relax. And looking to spend time with my loved ones. Work in progress.
Work in progress.
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