As the thundersnow was encasing the entire midwest, I was warm and cozy behind my desk at work. Patients were cancelling all their appointments, except for one one lady. And she sparked the travel-bug in me.
See, as I was about to reschedule her, I asked her when she was free and she said, she wanted to come back one more time before she went on vacation. I responded with the characteristic and generic comment of, "Ooh, vacation. I'm jealous. When do you leave?"
She responded with a, "Well... I don't really know."
Now, I'm pretty sure that if I were going to take a vacation, I would know for sure, without a doubt, spot on time that I was leaving. That is the start of your whole vacation, right?
So then I asked her, well, where are you going then? I suppose you wouldn't need to know an exact day you were leaving if it was just going to be a short little trip to the lake or something of the like.
"Egypt," she responded.
"YOU'RE GOING TO EGYPT AND YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHEN YOU ARE GOING?!" was my exact reaction.
"Yeah, I'm going with my husband and a tour group. We're spending eleven days in that part of the world."
"Ooh," I said, "I'm jealous. I loved Israel and have been wanting to travel some more lately."
And you know what she said? She's going to Israel too!
Never once have I ever found a single person that wants to, is serious about, or going to Israel. It seems as if everyone in this part of the world sees it as some huge danger. For those of you that think it's too dangerous, you are making yourselves one of the most deprived people in the world. Israel is amazing. I have nothing bad to say about it and would recommend it as a vacation destination to everyone. In fact, if you're going any time soon, let me know. I'll go with you. You're more likely to get killed in the US during rush hour traffic than you are in another country by weapons and hatred.
So here I sit. Totally wishing that this storm was over and that I was getting on a plane tomorrow to visit one of the best places in the world. Israel is truly amazing. I will never stop believing that and I will tell everyone how wonderful it was.
And to that lady at work.... Take me with you!
Thursday, February 26, 2009
"Boy Am I Glad I Didn't Fart!"
Thanks Pastor J, that made my night.
Remember that scene in Apollo 13 where the character Blanche Lovell (Tom Hank's character's mom) says to Hanks' wife, "Are you scared? Don't you worry. If they could get a washing machine to fly, my Jimmy could land it."
I think that is one of my all time favorite movie quotes.
Remember that scene in Apollo 13 where the character Blanche Lovell (Tom Hank's character's mom) says to Hanks' wife, "Are you scared? Don't you worry. If they could get a washing machine to fly, my Jimmy could land it."
I think that is one of my all time favorite movie quotes.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Huh?
Health.
Family.
Wedding.
Scheduling.
House.
Moving.
Job.
Employment.
Interviews.
Travel.
Distance.
Time.
Money.
Dreams.
School.
Panic.
Anxiety.
Relaxation?
Family.
Wedding.
Scheduling.
House.
Moving.
Job.
Employment.
Interviews.
Travel.
Distance.
Time.
Money.
Dreams.
School.
Panic.
Anxiety.
Relaxation?
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Etch-A-Sketch Syndrome
If life hasn't been chaotic enough, why not throw in about a dozen other life-striking events?
I'm sitting at work, totally worn out from this last week, and trying to focus my thoughts into something remotely organized so that I can get rid of this raging headache. Apparently, it isn't to be.
As I was surfing online today though, I found an article about a couple that met on Flickr, a photo-sharing website. The article itself was written from a cynic's point of view. How could someone meet like that? Can you really fall in love online? Is it even real? One comment was even along the lines of how could these people be real? Who really is that attractive and how do two stunningly attractive people find each other and be extremely talented at the same thing?
Color me a skeptic, but I'm borderline challenging it myself. It almost seems too romantic to be true. Then again, I consider myself to be extremely lucky and while I'm not exactly talented at the same things he is, my Love and I have a lot of those moments where we realize how much we are actually in sync.
Then I fade into the hopelessly romantic side of myself and dream of all the love and struggles I know I'll share with my Love. We're all going through some tough times; emotionally, spiritually, physically, and mentally. We all pray that we'll get through it and I know we will. It all just takes a little time and lots of love.
I'm sitting at work, totally worn out from this last week, and trying to focus my thoughts into something remotely organized so that I can get rid of this raging headache. Apparently, it isn't to be.
As I was surfing online today though, I found an article about a couple that met on Flickr, a photo-sharing website. The article itself was written from a cynic's point of view. How could someone meet like that? Can you really fall in love online? Is it even real? One comment was even along the lines of how could these people be real? Who really is that attractive and how do two stunningly attractive people find each other and be extremely talented at the same thing?
Color me a skeptic, but I'm borderline challenging it myself. It almost seems too romantic to be true. Then again, I consider myself to be extremely lucky and while I'm not exactly talented at the same things he is, my Love and I have a lot of those moments where we realize how much we are actually in sync.
Then I fade into the hopelessly romantic side of myself and dream of all the love and struggles I know I'll share with my Love. We're all going through some tough times; emotionally, spiritually, physically, and mentally. We all pray that we'll get through it and I know we will. It all just takes a little time and lots of love.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Sunday, February 8, 2009
Seriously?!
Who the hell gives you movable objects as directional landmarks?
The response when asked was, "Well! Those CARS were there when I called to have you pick me up!! If you wouldn't have TAKEN 30 MINUTES to get here, you would have seen them!!!"
So then, why was there a 30 minute delay?
Because some State Trooper with NO LIFE was chilling out on the old highway at the town line and his radar picked us up GOING 30 MPH IN A 25 MPH ZONE!! AND proceeded to pull us over. I was laughing so hard, he must have thought I was on drugs.
Who really does that? It's after midnight, on a road that no one uses, we were going 5 miles over the limit.
Someone CLEARLY has nothing better to do.
The response when asked was, "Well! Those CARS were there when I called to have you pick me up!! If you wouldn't have TAKEN 30 MINUTES to get here, you would have seen them!!!"
So then, why was there a 30 minute delay?
Because some State Trooper with NO LIFE was chilling out on the old highway at the town line and his radar picked us up GOING 30 MPH IN A 25 MPH ZONE!! AND proceeded to pull us over. I was laughing so hard, he must have thought I was on drugs.
Who really does that? It's after midnight, on a road that no one uses, we were going 5 miles over the limit.
Someone CLEARLY has nothing better to do.
Friday, February 6, 2009
Africa: Take 2
Back in November, I'd gotten word from the Peace Corps Placement Office, that although I had recognizable skills, I just didn't have the experience they were looking for. My understanding is this had something to do with funding, or lack thereof.
I guess I'd kind of resigned my thoughts to the point that it just wasn't in the cards for me right now. I went to the side of it that I'll have plenty of time and the Peace Corps might be something I can do later in life.
Then, to my surprise, a woman from church sent out a letter detailing what she wants to do for her next mission. See, she has gone a few times to a village in Kenya to work with women and children that have been orphaned, abused, and homeless. She has helped with many other projects from creating jobs for women, find educators for productive farming, and matched American sponsors to orphaned children. There is so much more than that, but those are just a few.
When I first moved back to Wisconsin, I was using the church's wireless to hang out on my laptop, and while I was there, this lady came in looking for help. She needed to create a powerpoint presentation about these African missions, but didn't know how. Seeing that I had all the time in the world, I said I'd help her out.
Now she thinks that I'm completely computer talented and wants me to go to Africa with her to help with the administration and technical aspects that this expanding project needs. I must say, I think she's got more confidence in my computer capabilities than I deserve. Apparently, I come across to everyone as a techie, but they are totally wrong. If my computer doesn't work, I fuss and whine, and ask my Love to fix it. Granted, I guess I can fix most things on my own, but yeah... We'll see.
The other thing is that she wants to get a book/calendar published using writings from someone that's been there and using photos taken by volunteers. I took a picture when Love and I went to Colorado that countless people have loved and at an auction for the church it sold for upwards of $70. Knowing that, she wants me to be the photographer. So, not only would I get to go to Africa, but I would be PUBLISHED! For some reason, I can't find a single bad thing about that. Haha.
So here are the negatives:
I guess I'd kind of resigned my thoughts to the point that it just wasn't in the cards for me right now. I went to the side of it that I'll have plenty of time and the Peace Corps might be something I can do later in life.
Then, to my surprise, a woman from church sent out a letter detailing what she wants to do for her next mission. See, she has gone a few times to a village in Kenya to work with women and children that have been orphaned, abused, and homeless. She has helped with many other projects from creating jobs for women, find educators for productive farming, and matched American sponsors to orphaned children. There is so much more than that, but those are just a few.
When I first moved back to Wisconsin, I was using the church's wireless to hang out on my laptop, and while I was there, this lady came in looking for help. She needed to create a powerpoint presentation about these African missions, but didn't know how. Seeing that I had all the time in the world, I said I'd help her out.
Now she thinks that I'm completely computer talented and wants me to go to Africa with her to help with the administration and technical aspects that this expanding project needs. I must say, I think she's got more confidence in my computer capabilities than I deserve. Apparently, I come across to everyone as a techie, but they are totally wrong. If my computer doesn't work, I fuss and whine, and ask my Love to fix it. Granted, I guess I can fix most things on my own, but yeah... We'll see.
The other thing is that she wants to get a book/calendar published using writings from someone that's been there and using photos taken by volunteers. I took a picture when Love and I went to Colorado that countless people have loved and at an auction for the church it sold for upwards of $70. Knowing that, she wants me to be the photographer. So, not only would I get to go to Africa, but I would be PUBLISHED! For some reason, I can't find a single bad thing about that. Haha.
So here are the negatives:
- This trip would cost somewhere in the neighborhood of $2500 dollars or more.
- It would take place shortly after Love and I get married.
- Love WOULD be able to go with me, BUT he's going back to school, has his full time job, and since we'll have taken time off for the wedding, he might not have time off to go to Africa
- I might not be able to get time off, depending on the job I get.
The pros:
- Mission to Africa. (Nuf' said)
- Create an administration program. (Can we all scream EXPERIENCE!)
- Having writings and photos published for distribution. (Wicked exciting)
- Strong probability for fundraising to knock down costs. (Isn't there some sort of tax deduction for mission work overseas?)
- One hell of a honeymoon story to tell our grandkids. "Yeah, we skipped out on the private Caribbean island to volunteer our time and talents to women and children from a war-torn country."
I'm sure there are way more for both the pro and con list, but I just wanted to throw this out there. I'm hoping God will provide some answers. This is a second opportunity to go to Africa and one that would allow my Love to go too, and if it still isn't right, I'll believe him, but I'm willing to give it a shot.
On a different note, I have really gotten into quilting. I've made a baby blanket and pillow for a certain Baby B that we're all excited for, a piano music bag for my sister for her birthday, a decorative pillow for my Mom-in-Law (future), and have started a bed quilt to give to my Love as a wedding present. I have my crafty days.
P.S. I'm really hoping Africa works out in some way.
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Pickles Are Cucumbers Soaked In Evil
I had a lot to say for that last entry, but skipped most of it because it would have been too long. Now I don't care. It's going to be long.
I think it is often hard for people to focus on the good things in their life when they have lots of things weighing on their minds. It is easy to focus on current concerns. That's how I work too. It's really easy for me to focus on all the things that I feel are going wrong in my world. It's really easy for me to feel stressed and overwhelmed by the dozens of strings that I feel are pulling me around like a marionette. As if it isn't even my life I'm living, just a twisted, tangled version of some playwright's script. The vignettes today day find me in places that I'm not sure how to sort out.
Growing up, I wanted to believe that I'd find "the One" while I was in college. "The One" and I would date and be married in college, start our lives together with our graduations and work together. Isn't this some psychotic new generation image of the perfect 1950's woman? Instead of gushing over my new fangled washer and dryer, I was dreaming of a career. Instead of taking classes on etiquette and housekeeping, my classes consisted of the modern military and group interaction.
Since I obviously didn't get married WHILE I was in school, I guess I'd resigned myself to believe that I'd be one of those career driven women and throw myself into singledom by pretending I didn't care and made every effort to get away from it all.
And then my eyes opened. Or maybe it was just the electricity of the night that made me realize how wonderful he was. This guy that had been in my life for years. This guy that had respectfully and patiently listened to me through everything over the years. Now it just seemed right. We've often talked and teased each other about why we didn't start dating earlier. We've come to the conclusion that WE as a couple wouldn't have worked without the growing and learning we had to do as individuals. We just weren't ready.
So here we are. Together, in the dating sense. We are so far apart from each other, it makes me want to cry. He's two states away and although we text each other about 10 times a minute and call each other all the time, it's just not the same. I get to see him in 182 hours and 5 minutes and I can't wait! Go ahead and make fun of me for counting, but he's my best friend. I can't help it.
So here I get to the point of this. We're planning a wedding. Or trying. We have some of the most awkward family dynamics that I've ever heard of and it's stressful. I'm not saying that I'm assuming every wedding has been perfect and that everything fell together like a well designed puzzle, but this is just too much.
My Love told me a two weeks ago that he thought I was thinking too much about the wedding. What I want to know, is who doesn't think about their wedding? While I know that it is 27 weeks and 4 days away, I can't take care of everything now. Yet, if I want things at the wedding, I need to be able to have the opportunity to decide on them. We're trying to keep the cost fairly reasonable too, so of course I'm going to come up with lots of options and then sit down to figure out which costs more or what I'm willing to take away. *Scoff* Thinking too much about the wedding...
The other part about this, and this is the part that is irking me the most tonight, is how my decisions on wedding things seem to not be the "right" ones. I also had every intention of not ranting about specific people, but this one is hard to do.
My family lives under the belief that no matter what, your siblings are going to be a part of your wedding. I can't help it that my sister and I have NEVER gotten along. My entirely life consisted of moments when I was supposed to "play nice", be the "better person", or "go along" with things I didn't want because she reacts differently to things. I'd go to school at o-dark thirty in the morning and sleep in the hallways because she didn't like the people who had lockers next to hers. When report cards came, we had a "You Are Special Today" plate that we'd use at dinner, and she'd always pout through the times that I got it. She never came to any of my concerts, art shows, or sporting events. She didn't even come to my graduation. She also moved away a number of years ago and only calls when she needs something or when she knows it's her birthday or Christmas and people should be buying her things.
So here we are, at present times, with me planning a wedding. I can't help it that I wanted my best friends to be there with me. I would pick my bestest best friend for a bridesmaid if I could, but he's already in the wedding... As the groom. So, I picked my next three friends that I share everything with. So where does that leave my sister? Not as a bridesmaid. I know that sounds harsh, but maybe in my opinion, Ms. Manners can eat it. Etiquette be damned.
When I called my sister to tell her that we set a date and to "Mark the Calendar! I'm getting MARRIED!!", her response was, "Oh. Okay. We'll have to see. I might have to work that day." I'm not sure if you remember, but the wedding is MONTHS away. I'm sure a little planning and a boss would be understanding. But that is also her very convenient excuse to duck out of anything family related. At Christmas they visited, but didn't give a day they'd leave. Then, when free laundry was done, they were like, "Well, he might have to work tomorrow. Bye." Right. I'm pretty sure no one can live without their pizza delivery boy.
So, in an effort to make peace and fewer, smaller waves, I asked her to be a part of the wedding in a different way. I need help with some of the organizing and with hair, makeup, etc. I asked her to be an attendant. Apparently, that job means "the-bride-feels-guilty-and-made-up-a-job-so-that-I-can't-actually-cry-but-I-can-sulk-and-pout-about-not-being-in-the-wedding". News to me.
I tried talking to her again today. Two words: Epic Fail. The answer was, "I'll think about it, but I might not even come." Fuck you. If you don't want to be a part of the wedding, than just say it. If you don't want to be there, then just don't come and DON'T pout. Grow up and realize that this isn't your wedding.
That's my rant on that one. Is this blog long enough? I didn't get a chance to talk about jobs, houses, money, quilting, baking, Grandmas, and everything else on my mind. Oh, well.
Next time.
I think it is often hard for people to focus on the good things in their life when they have lots of things weighing on their minds. It is easy to focus on current concerns. That's how I work too. It's really easy for me to focus on all the things that I feel are going wrong in my world. It's really easy for me to feel stressed and overwhelmed by the dozens of strings that I feel are pulling me around like a marionette. As if it isn't even my life I'm living, just a twisted, tangled version of some playwright's script. The vignettes today day find me in places that I'm not sure how to sort out.
Growing up, I wanted to believe that I'd find "the One" while I was in college. "The One" and I would date and be married in college, start our lives together with our graduations and work together. Isn't this some psychotic new generation image of the perfect 1950's woman? Instead of gushing over my new fangled washer and dryer, I was dreaming of a career. Instead of taking classes on etiquette and housekeeping, my classes consisted of the modern military and group interaction.
Since I obviously didn't get married WHILE I was in school, I guess I'd resigned myself to believe that I'd be one of those career driven women and throw myself into singledom by pretending I didn't care and made every effort to get away from it all.
And then my eyes opened. Or maybe it was just the electricity of the night that made me realize how wonderful he was. This guy that had been in my life for years. This guy that had respectfully and patiently listened to me through everything over the years. Now it just seemed right. We've often talked and teased each other about why we didn't start dating earlier. We've come to the conclusion that WE as a couple wouldn't have worked without the growing and learning we had to do as individuals. We just weren't ready.
So here we are. Together, in the dating sense. We are so far apart from each other, it makes me want to cry. He's two states away and although we text each other about 10 times a minute and call each other all the time, it's just not the same. I get to see him in 182 hours and 5 minutes and I can't wait! Go ahead and make fun of me for counting, but he's my best friend. I can't help it.
So here I get to the point of this. We're planning a wedding. Or trying. We have some of the most awkward family dynamics that I've ever heard of and it's stressful. I'm not saying that I'm assuming every wedding has been perfect and that everything fell together like a well designed puzzle, but this is just too much.
My Love told me a two weeks ago that he thought I was thinking too much about the wedding. What I want to know, is who doesn't think about their wedding? While I know that it is 27 weeks and 4 days away, I can't take care of everything now. Yet, if I want things at the wedding, I need to be able to have the opportunity to decide on them. We're trying to keep the cost fairly reasonable too, so of course I'm going to come up with lots of options and then sit down to figure out which costs more or what I'm willing to take away. *Scoff* Thinking too much about the wedding...
The other part about this, and this is the part that is irking me the most tonight, is how my decisions on wedding things seem to not be the "right" ones. I also had every intention of not ranting about specific people, but this one is hard to do.
My family lives under the belief that no matter what, your siblings are going to be a part of your wedding. I can't help it that my sister and I have NEVER gotten along. My entirely life consisted of moments when I was supposed to "play nice", be the "better person", or "go along" with things I didn't want because she reacts differently to things. I'd go to school at o-dark thirty in the morning and sleep in the hallways because she didn't like the people who had lockers next to hers. When report cards came, we had a "You Are Special Today" plate that we'd use at dinner, and she'd always pout through the times that I got it. She never came to any of my concerts, art shows, or sporting events. She didn't even come to my graduation. She also moved away a number of years ago and only calls when she needs something or when she knows it's her birthday or Christmas and people should be buying her things.
So here we are, at present times, with me planning a wedding. I can't help it that I wanted my best friends to be there with me. I would pick my bestest best friend for a bridesmaid if I could, but he's already in the wedding... As the groom. So, I picked my next three friends that I share everything with. So where does that leave my sister? Not as a bridesmaid. I know that sounds harsh, but maybe in my opinion, Ms. Manners can eat it. Etiquette be damned.
When I called my sister to tell her that we set a date and to "Mark the Calendar! I'm getting MARRIED!!", her response was, "Oh. Okay. We'll have to see. I might have to work that day." I'm not sure if you remember, but the wedding is MONTHS away. I'm sure a little planning and a boss would be understanding. But that is also her very convenient excuse to duck out of anything family related. At Christmas they visited, but didn't give a day they'd leave. Then, when free laundry was done, they were like, "Well, he might have to work tomorrow. Bye." Right. I'm pretty sure no one can live without their pizza delivery boy.
So, in an effort to make peace and fewer, smaller waves, I asked her to be a part of the wedding in a different way. I need help with some of the organizing and with hair, makeup, etc. I asked her to be an attendant. Apparently, that job means "the-bride-feels-guilty-and-made-up-a-job-so-that-I-can't-actually-cry-but-I-can-sulk-and-pout-about-not-being-in-the-wedding". News to me.
I tried talking to her again today. Two words: Epic Fail. The answer was, "I'll think about it, but I might not even come." Fuck you. If you don't want to be a part of the wedding, than just say it. If you don't want to be there, then just don't come and DON'T pout. Grow up and realize that this isn't your wedding.
That's my rant on that one. Is this blog long enough? I didn't get a chance to talk about jobs, houses, money, quilting, baking, Grandmas, and everything else on my mind. Oh, well.
Next time.
Monday, February 2, 2009
What Is With This Irrational Fear?
On New Years' this year, I fell down a flight of stairs. Hard. Not only did I totally wipe out, but all of the things I was holding - the 5 wedding magazines tucked under my arm, the pile of laundry balanced on a hand as if it was a platter of drinks, my phone up to my ear held on by my shoulder, and my bag that I carry basically everything in back and forth to work - flew down the stairs with me. I landed on my back against the edge of the stairs and with my legs twisted beneath me. I was fine.... kind of. I couldn't move for about 20 long minutes and then I couldn't stand up, walk, or lay down because of the pain in my back. I wasn't sure what I did, but I knew it wasn't good. Then two days later, I was feeling even more sore when I leaned down to pick up something I'd foolishly dropped. As I did, everything popped back into place. It felt amazing.
So the point of the story? I now fear that every time I go down a flight of stairs, I'm going to fall. I panic, then grab the railing, and then slowly descend. Why? Because I fell? Isn't there a lesson somewhere that says that if you fall, you must get back up? Show the world that you are capable of standing up again? Apparently I'm scared. I can't even go down the stairs anymore.
Remember when you were little and you had zero fears? I once jumped off a roof when I was little because my friend's sister was in cheerleading and said she knew how to catch me. About 8 years later, I climbed up on a roof to help with Christmas lights and once my irrational fears struck me, I got stuck on the roof for hours.
Another example? I loved winter sports. Particularly sledding. I remember when Dad would build an ice chute in the yard so that we could luge through the yard. Then one year, I was sledding and in an effort to stop, I leaned out of the sled. An ice sheet caught my hand and I couldn't feel anything but shooting pain in my wrist for days. I thought I'd broken about 12 bones in my hand. Now I don't go sledding. Down hill skiing scares the crap out of me. Just thinking about it makes my wrist hurt again.
So where does this put me? Will I ever get over some of these silly fears? Will I ever be able to jump down a flight of stairs again? Fall openly and wholeheartedly?
I think that's a yes. Why? Because I've totally fallen for my best friend. He knows this. Or he should; we're getting married. :D I also know that he's one of the most compassionate, caring, loving, and capable people God could have ever put in my life. He makes me smile and my heart flutter. I think it's called being twitterpated.
I'll have more to update later. Now, it's time for bed.
So the point of the story? I now fear that every time I go down a flight of stairs, I'm going to fall. I panic, then grab the railing, and then slowly descend. Why? Because I fell? Isn't there a lesson somewhere that says that if you fall, you must get back up? Show the world that you are capable of standing up again? Apparently I'm scared. I can't even go down the stairs anymore.
Remember when you were little and you had zero fears? I once jumped off a roof when I was little because my friend's sister was in cheerleading and said she knew how to catch me. About 8 years later, I climbed up on a roof to help with Christmas lights and once my irrational fears struck me, I got stuck on the roof for hours.
Another example? I loved winter sports. Particularly sledding. I remember when Dad would build an ice chute in the yard so that we could luge through the yard. Then one year, I was sledding and in an effort to stop, I leaned out of the sled. An ice sheet caught my hand and I couldn't feel anything but shooting pain in my wrist for days. I thought I'd broken about 12 bones in my hand. Now I don't go sledding. Down hill skiing scares the crap out of me. Just thinking about it makes my wrist hurt again.
So where does this put me? Will I ever get over some of these silly fears? Will I ever be able to jump down a flight of stairs again? Fall openly and wholeheartedly?
I think that's a yes. Why? Because I've totally fallen for my best friend. He knows this. Or he should; we're getting married. :D I also know that he's one of the most compassionate, caring, loving, and capable people God could have ever put in my life. He makes me smile and my heart flutter. I think it's called being twitterpated.
I'll have more to update later. Now, it's time for bed.
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